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shinysylverTitle: Fading into Beautiful Light
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shinysylver
Characters/Pairing: Steve/Danny, Grace
Word Count: 20,118
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own Hawaii Five-0.
Warning: death of a canon character
Summary: When Rachel is killed Steve has his work cut out for him trying to hold Danny and Grace together. He may be the only one who really understands Grace’s pain but between Danny taking his own anger out on Steve and all of the unresolved feelings between the two of them nothing is easy.
Artist:chosenfire28
Art Post: The art post can be found here. Be sure to go leave some love.
Author's Note: Written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
h50_bigbang This story follows canon through episode 1.23 but diverges from there. The finale did not happen. The title is from the song “Everybody’s Changing” by Keane. Special thanks to forcellari, somehowunbroken and jesseofthenorth for their beta work and support. Also, many, many thanks to chosenfire28 for her wonderful artwork.
Grace ran through the halls, her bare feet slapping loudly on the floor. She clutched her mom’s cell phone close to her chest as she ran toward the farthest guest room. As soon as she reached the door she heard a loud crash downstairs followed by her mother screaming. Tears running down her face, she scrabbled desperately at the door knob. When she finally managed to make the knob work she fell into the room, the cell phone flying out of her hands in the process.
Grace immediately scrambled to her knees and crawled as far back under the bed as she could, afraid that the bad men would be coming for her. She knew from hours of playing hide-and-seek that no one would be able to see her because of the long bed skirt. It wasn't until she was all the way under the bed that she realized she wasn't holding the phone any more.
When the bad men had come, her mom had told her to hide. She’d thrust her cell phone into Grace’s hand and told her to call her father. She hadn’t wanted to leave her mom but she was scared and Daddy always told her that if something happened she should hide and be really quiet.
Grace took a deep breath and crawled carefully to the edge of the bed. She slowly pulled the bed skirt aside and saw the cell phone lying on the floor near the open door. She was about to rush out and get it when she heard Stan yelling something that was too muffled to understand.
Then she heard the loud crack of gunshots.
**
“Will you slow down already!” Danny yelled, bracing himself as Steve sped around a tight curve. “You’re not even chasing anyone!”
“You complain an awful lot for someone who willingly hands over his keys every morning,” Steve pointed out.
“Willingly? You mean I have a choice?” Danny asked incredulously.
“Well no,” Steve smirked. “I know the area much better than you.”
“That’s the excuse you’re going with?” Danny asked.
“Seems reasonable to me,” Steve answered with a shrug.
“Well of course it seems reasonable to you,” Danny said, relaxing a bit as they reached a straight stretch of road. “You’re insane.”
“Not clinically,” Steve retorted.
“Yeah well--” Danny began but was interrupted by his phone ringing. He took a quick look at the screen and hit the ignore button. After everything that had happened in the hospital, he’d told Rachel not to call until she was out of Stan’s house. They had to do this the right way for Grace. He looked up and found Steve looking at him curiously. “It was Rachel.”
“Oh,” Steve said quietly.
Danny suppressed a sigh at the flash of hurt that briefly crossed Steve’s face. Whenever Rachel’s name was mentioned Steve got that sad puppy look before he quickly forced a happy grin. Danny wasn’t sure why Steve had a problem with him getting back together with Rachel but he obviously did. Granted it wasn’t the best of circumstances since she was still technically married. If the situation were reversed he probably wouldn’t approve either so he couldn’t really blame Steve.
His phone beeped letting him know that he had a new voicemail, so he pushed aside his thoughts and picked it up.
“Daddy! Bad men are here and they have guns. I’m scared. Please come!”
Danny’s heart clenched and stomach twisted at the sound of Grace’s frantic whispers. “Rachel’s, now.”
Steve took one look at Danny’s face and executed an illegal u-turn through a busy intersection. “What is it?”
“Grace said there were bad men. In the house..with guns,” Danny said. At his words, Steve immediately floored the gas pedal and began calling for back up.
Danny stared straight ahead and clutched his phone, hoping that Grace would call back. Why hadn’t he answered in the first place? He knew that Grace sometimes used Rachel’s phone and you would think he’d have learned his lesson after the car jacking. He was such an idiot. He had just been thinking of himself and the stupid ultimatum he had given Rachel. He was so selfish.
Danny wanted nothing more than to call Grace back to make sure she was okay and to tell her that he was coming, but if there were men there, and she was hiding like he’d taught her, he didn’t want the phone to go off and give her away.
Steve began to weave through the heavy rush hour traffic at high speeds, barely avoiding the other cars. “She’ll be okay. They’ll be okay.”
Danny didn’t say anything, instead taking his gun out of the holster and making sure it was loaded. He checked and rechecked the chamber, doing his best to keep the clawing fear at bay.
By the time they reached Rachel’s house Chin and Kono were already there with HPD back-up. Danny threw the door open before Steve had even brought the car to a full stop and began to run toward the splintered mess that used to be the front door. It looked like some bastard had taken a battering ram to it.
His only thought was to get to Grace and Rachel but before he could go very far, Chin took a step in front of him.
“Danny, you don’t want to go in there,” Chin said gently. He reached out and hesitantly rested a hand on Danny’s arm.
“Rachel? Grace?” Danny gasped, his heart pounding in his ears.
“The house is clear, but we haven’t found Grace yet,” Chin paused before continuing in a soft voice. “Danny, Rachel and Stan--”
“Move,” Danny growled, clenching his fists. He couldn’t let Chin finish that sentence. He couldn’t bear to hear the rest of it. At the moment he couldn’t afford to think about Rachel. He had to focus on Grace. He could still find Grace.
Chin looked over Danny’s shoulder, probably seeking Steve’s approval, then moved to the side. “Do yourself a favor and avoid the kitchen.”
Danny took off at a run, pushing aside an HPD officer who inadvertently got in his way. All he could think about was finding Grace. He knew that she was okay. She had to be. There was no other option that he could live with. He just had to find her.
As soon as he entered the house he screamed. “Grace!”
He barely managed to hold himself still for long enough to listen for a response before rushing into the next room and repeating the process.
He lost track of where he was, running blindly from room to room, but when he reached the kitchen, his voice caught in his throat and he stopped in shock.
There was blood everywhere and the walls were riddled with bullet holes. He could see two bodies lying next to the center island. They were huddled together, clinging to each other. His mind knew that the bodies had to be Rachel and Stan. But he couldn’t process it. He couldn’t believe that Rachel, his beautiful Rachel, was lying pale and lifeless in a puddle of blood.
He stood by the door and stared at them blankly, not seeing anything. The part of him that had been a detective for a decade knew that he must be going into shock but he couldn’t seem to do anything about it.
Danny didn’t know how long he had been standing there unable to move when he felt a hand clasp his shoulder. He tensed at the touch and raised his gun, but stilled his hand when he heard Steve’s voice murmuring softly. He idly wondered how long Steve had been there and how long he’d been talking. Danny closed his eyes and tried to focus on Steve’s voice.
“Grace’s not in here,” Steve said quietly. He carefully turned Danny around and gently led him down the hall and away from the kitchen. “Let’s look upstairs.”
Grace. He had to find Grace. Danny shrugged Steve’s hand off and allowed his training to take over. He could go into shock later. He had to find his baby girl first.
He and Steve made their way up the stairs and started moving from room to room calling for Grace. By the time they entered the third room, Danny realized that Steve never let him enter first. He always edged in front and blocked Danny’s view. If he wasn't so desperate to find Grace, he might have appreciated the concern but at the moment it was frustrating him. He was a cop--and a damn good one--he didn’t need coddling.
“I don’t need you to protect me,” he barked, as they made their way to the fourth door.
“Of course not,” Steve said calmly, even as he stepped in front of Danny to open the door to the last guest room. Danny ground his teeth in irritation but managed to hold his tongue as he followed Steve into the room.
“Grace!” Danny called, eyes scanning the corners while Steve opened the closet.
“Danno?” a small voice whispered from under the bed.
“Grace!” Danny yelled in relief dropping to his knees. He lifted up the skirt and peered under the bed. He saw his angel huddled against the wall, her eyes wide and frightened. “It’s okay sweetie. You can come out now.”
Grace quickly crawled out and threw herself at Danny. She burrowed her face against his chest and began to cry. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He kissed the top of her head and said a silent prayer of thanks.
After she calmed down Grace pulled back and looked at Danny. “Where’s Mommy?”
Danny felt his heart drop. He had no idea how to tell his little girl that her mother was dead. He looked helplessly over Grace’s shoulder at Steve. Steve gazed back at him, his eyes filled with sympathy.
“Danno?” Grace asked, beginning to struggle against him. “I want Mommy. Where’s Mommy?”
“Grace,” Danny began, trying to hold her still, “the bad men hurt your mom.”
“Is she going to be okay?”
Danny shook his head. “No Monkey, she’s not. She’s gone to heaven with Grandpa Williams.”
“But she wasn’t sick.” Grace furrowed her brows in confusion. “Grandpa was sick.”
Danny sighed. “Grace, sweetie, the bad men hurt her really bad. She can’t get better.”
“No!” Grace shouted, suddenly understanding. She pushed at him, trying to get away but he didn’t let go. After a moment she gave up and collapsed against him, once more crying uncontrollably.
Danny felt his own eyes filling with tears as he rested his cheek against her head and looked up at Steve.
“I’ll get some of her things,” Steve said, slipping out of the room and leaving Grace and Danny to their shared grief.
**
Steve shifted the box he was carrying onto one hip and unlocked the door, holding it open for Danny. “Take her into the guest room.”
Danny nodded and Steve watched him leave with Grace cradled gently in his arms. She had fallen into an exhausted sleep not long after she had stopped crying.
Steve walked over to the table and set down the box he was carrying as well as the bag of Grace’s clothes and toys he had gathered. He opened the box with a sigh and looked down at the white rabbit.
“What am I going to do with you?” He asked the rabbit before reaching into the box and gently petting the soft white fur. “More importantly, what am I going to do with them?”
Not surprisingly, the rabbit didn’t have any answers for him. Steve sighed and began to make a mental list of all of the things they would need to do.
“She’s settled in,” Danny said re-entering the room a few minutes later.
Steve looked up at the other man. “We need to get a cage for the rabbit. The one at Rachel’s was too big.”
Danny nodded absently. He sat down at the table and stared intently at the wood grain, tracing it with his finger.
“Danny, are you--”
“I’m fine,” Danny interrupted, avoiding Steve’s eyes. “Just worried about Grace. How is she ever going to get over this?”
“We’re going to find the people who did this,” Steve said firmly, “and we’re going to take them out.”
For once Danny didn’t argue about exacting a more biblical form of justice. “But what about after that? That won’t bring her mother back.”
Steve sighed and sat down across from Danny. “In time, she’ll move on. We all do.”
Danny looked up skeptically. “You didn’t move on. You became obsessed with vengeance.”
“I have a healthy desire for justice,” Steve corrected. “But it won’t matter. We will find out who did this and make sure that Grace never has to worry about it again.”
Danny slumped back in the chair and scrubbed at his face with one hand, rubbing fiercely at eyes that were too bright. “After the funeral, maybe I should take her back to New Jersey. She would be surrounded by family, and away from all these memories. And frankly, there isn’t anything keeping us here now.”
Steve’s heart dropped at the idea of Danny leaving Hawaii. “You have family here too.”
Danny stared at Steve but didn’t reply and Steve didn’t want to push the issue. He shoved it aside and instead he tried to focus on the immediate concerns.
“You can stay in Mary’s old room,” Steve said. “We can move you out of your apartment later.”
Danny looked at Steve sharply. “Move me out of my apartment? What’s wrong with my apartment?”
“Nothing, except that it’s a shit hole,” Steve answered. “It’s no place to raise children.”
Danny sat up straighter and glared at Steve. “We do fine on my weekends with her.”
“Yeah, you do fine, but one bed and one bathroom? That might be okay for two days a week but forever? What happens when she gets older?” Steve gestured at the rabbit. “And besides, you can’t have pets, can you? Do you really want to take her pet away on top of everything?”
Danny looked like he wanted to argue but instead he sighed. “If we stay in Hawaii, I’ll need to look for a new place.”
“You can stay here,” Steve said carefully. “The house is too big for just me anyway.”
Danny shook his head. “We can’t...”
“At least stay for a while,” Steve insisted. “It’ll give you some time to figure out what you’re going to do. And until we get this case figured out Grace’ll be safer with both of us around.”
“You’re right,” Danny muttered. “I really hate it when you’re right.”
Steve smiled faintly. “I need to go back out to the scene. See if Chin and Kono have found anything.”
Danny nodded. “Think you can pick up a rabbit cage on your way home?”
Steve grunted noncommittally as he headed for the door.
**
By the time Steve made it back to the scene, HPD had already processed everything under Kono’s careful supervision and Chin had gone back to headquarters to start going through the security camera footage that had been retrieved from all over the neighborhood.
Even though he trusted Kono to be thorough, Steve walked through the scene again himself. When he had been there earlier he had been too concerned about Danny and Grace to pay close attention to his surroundings. Even now it was hard to go near the kitchen without thinking of Danny standing there locked in shock. Steve had talked to him for several minutes before he had finally come back to himself. He had never seen Danny that out of it and he didn’t want to ever again.
Steve sighed and pushed thoughts of Danny away. He had a job to do.
He walked through the house, going from room to room taking careful note of everything, comparing it with his mental picture of the house from that stake out so many months ago. Several of the rooms had been tossed, but all of the jewelry and electronics seemed to be accounted for. In fact, it didn’t appear as though any valuables had been taken. It was obvious that the killers had been looking for something in particular.
Steve walked into Stan’s office and looked at the destruction around him. The killers had spent the most time here. Not only had the drawers been turned out but someone had taken the time to smash and destroy the furniture. There had been a lot of rage directed toward the room which told Steve that whoever had done this was after Stan, and it was personal.
He knelt down to sift through the contents of the desk drawers which had been dumped on the floor but looked up when Kono entered the room
“Find anything, Boss?”
“Stan’s the key,” he said, standing and joining her near the door. “Did you find his computer or phone?”
“No,” Kono said shaking her head. “There wasn’t a computer left in the house, not even Grace’s.”
“But they left the jewelry and the TVs.”
“Not to mention a safe full of cash,” Kono added.
“Tell Chin to dig as deep as he can into Stan’s life,” Steve said, starting to walk. “I want to know everything.”
Kono nodded, taking out her phone.
“And I want you to pay a visit to Bruce Hoffman,” Steve continued. “I doubt he’s involved but he has made a threat before.”
“What are you going to do?” Kono asked curiously, as they made their way out of the house.
“I’m going to get a rabbit cage,” Steve replied.
To her credit, Kono didn’t even bat an eye. When they reached her car she reached out and grabbed Steve’s arm. “Take care of them. Chin and I have this.”
Steve nodded. “Keep me in the loop.”
Steve got into the car and headed out towards the nearest pet store. It went against everything he was to leave and turn bulk of the investigation over to someone else, but he needed to be there for Danny. Danny and Grace were all alone on this island. He’d told Danny on more than one occasion that he had family in Hawaii. Steve was that family.
Steve knew that Danny didn’t see their partnership the same way that he did. That had been made clear after the sarin attack. When Steve had seen Danny go down, not able to breathe, everything had snapped into startling clarity for him. Danny was everything. He was everything Steve wanted in his life, everything he needed. And for one brief moment, as he had gazed down at Danny in the hospital, he had thought Danny might feel the same way about him.
So it had been a shock when he’d walked in on Danny and Rachel together in the hospital but Danny had looked so happy, so very happy, that he had forced a smile. When it came down to it, Steve just wanted Danny happy and if he was happy with Rachel then so be it. And if Steve clung onto Danny tighter than necessary when they hugged, well he was only human.
But now, with Rachel gone, Steve knew that Danny was going to be devastated and he had to push his own feelings aside. He had to be there for Danny as a friend and a partner. Whatever it took.
**
Grace was running through the halls. She could hear footsteps behind her but was too scared to turn around. Her heart was racing and her breaths were coming fast. All she knew was that she had to get away. So she ran for what seemed like hours, taking turn after turn until she rounded a corner only to find a dead end. There was nowhere left to go and the footsteps were getting louder.
Grace jerked awake with a gasp. The cold terror from the dream was made worse by the fact that she had no idea where she was. She was in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar house. Grace opened her mouth to scream for her mother but she squashed the instinct. The fog of sleep was fading from her head and she remembered that there had been bad men in her house. What if they had kidnapped her?
Despite her racing heart, Grace got up as quietly as she could and began to explore the room. It was obviously a bedroom but it didn’t look like anyone had used it in a long time. It was mostly bare except for the furniture, but there were some football trophies on the dresser and a Boy Scout sash covered with patches was hanging over the mirror. She carefully opened the dresser drawers, hoping to find something, anything, to tell her where she was but all of them were empty.
She checked the closet next and found some sports equipment. Grace decided that the baseball bat would make her feel safer if this really was the bad men’s house so she picked it up before closing the closet door. She took one last look around but didn’t see anything else of use. The room actually reminded her of her room back in New Jersey after all of the stuff had been boxed up to move, which made her wonder where the boy who had lived in this room had moved to.
Grace shook her head to clear her thoughts and made her way to the door. She carefully turned the knob and peeked out into the hallway. She didn’t see anybody so she tiptoed out carrying the bat with her. She was nearly to the stairs when she heard someone coming up them. Driven by pure instinct, she quickly ducked into the shadows beside the staircase and swung the bat out at the person.
**
“Oomph,” Steve grunted as he caught the bat in his hand. “Grace?”
“Uncle Steve?” Grace whispered stepping out of the shadows.
“What are you doing?” Steve asked as he took the bat from her. He had to admit he was impressed that she had found his old bat and was bold enough to attack him with it. She definitely took after her father.
“I thought you were one of the bad men.” Grace explained, her voice shaky. “Where am I? Where’s Danno? Where’s Mommy?”
Steve mentally flinched at the mention of Rachel but did his best to keep his face blank. “You’re at my house. You and your dad are going to be staying here for a little while.”
“Oh,” Grace said obviously confused.
“You should go back to bed,” Steve suggested uncomfortably. It wasn’t his place to answer her questions. He knew that she and Danny needed to have a long talk about a lot of things in the morning and it would be best for all concerned if she went back to bed until then.
“I can’t.” Grace’s voice was trembling but she was still standing straight, her shoulders squared bravely.
Steve frowned down at her. “Why not?”
“I had a nightmare,” she whispered.
“Oh.” Steve thought fast. He could wake Danny up but he’d really hate to do that. Surely he could handle a nightmare. “Why don’t you come downstairs and I’ll make you some tea? That always helps me when I have nightmares.”
“Okay,” Grace said quietly as she followed him down the stairs.
When they reached the kitchen, Steve indicated that Grace should take a seat at the table before he went about the familiar ritual of filling the kettle. Once he had the water on to boil, he selected a soothing chamomile blend from the pantry and retrieved two of his mother’s delicate tea cups and their saucers from the cupboard. He worked in silence because he didn’t know what to say or how to comfort an eight year old girl who had just lost her mother and was suffering from nightmares. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure that eight year olds liked tea but he figured that Grace would have objected by now if she didn’t want it.
A few minutes later he set one floral cup in front of Grace, before sitting down on the other side of the table. “Be careful, it’s hot.”
Grace nodded. She didn’t reach for her tea but instead watched him intently as he sipped his.
“Do you really have nightmares?”
“Yes,” Steve answered.
“What about?” Grace asked.
“Lots of things,” Steve replied. He wasn’t sure how much of his life he should be revealing to a child but he couldn’t see any purpose in lying to her. “Sometimes I dream about the war.”
“The war? Daddy said you’re a soldier.”
Steve frowned. “I’m a sailor and a SEAL.”
“Oh.” Grace dropped her eyes to stare down at her cup.
Steve sighed. He doubted that she knew the difference. “It’s a lot like being a soldier. We fight in wars too.”
“Against the bad men?” she asked looking back up.
“Yes,” Steve said firmly. “We fight against the bad men.”
“Good.” Grace stared at him for a moment then slowly picked up her cup and took a tiny sip. It must have met with her approval because she then took a much bigger drink. “This tastes different than mom’s but I still like it.”
“There are lots of different kinds of tea.” Steve smiled. He should have known that the daughter of a British immigrant would have a taste for tea.
Grace nodded then set her cup back down and looked at him seriously. “My nightmare was about the bad men.”
Steve hesitated. He wanted to ask her if she remembered them, if she had seen the men who had broken into her house. But he didn’t think that this was the time for that so instead he pushed aside the case and tried to do what he imagined Danny would in this situation. “The bad men can’t get you here. Your dad and I are both here and nothing is going to happen.”
“Dad says that you’re like a crazy ninja,” Grace said looking him up and down like she didn’t quite believe it.
Steve laughed. He was going to love giving Danny hell about that. “Does he? Well, that means you’re definitely safe here because no one could get past a crazy ninja, could they?”
Grace shook her head before rubbing tiredly at her eyes. She was still tense, much tenser than Steve liked, but she seemed a lot calmer than when he first found her.
“Okay then,” Steve said standing up. He gathered their cups and took them to the sink. “Do you think you can go to sleep now?”
Grace nodded and stood up sleepily. She was almost out of the kitchen when she turned around. “Uncle Steve? Will you stay with me? Just ‘til I go to sleep?”
Steve looked up from the cup he was washing in surprise. He briefly wondered if maybe he should go wake Danny up, but if he’d actually managed to go to sleep, Steve didn’t want to disturb him. Steve knew from experience that sleep was hard to come by at times like this. Making up his mind, he set the cup down, wordlessly followed Grace up to his old room, and sat down in the chair next to the bed.
“Goodnight, Uncle Steve,” Grace whispered as she pulled the blankets up under her chin.
“Goodnight, Grace,” Steve replied. He settled back into the hard chair and watched her, wondering how long he should stay.
**
“What are you doing?” Danny whispered loudly from the door causing Steve to jerk awake. Danny was the only person he knew who could whisper loudly. Steve hadn’t even realized that it was possible until he’d met Danny. The man wasn’t able to do anything quietly.
Steve was momentarily disoriented but after a quick inventory of his surroundings, he remembered that Grace had asked him to stay until she went to sleep and he must have drifted off himself. He stood up and joined Danny in the hall, closing the door behind him. “She had a nightmare.”
“My daughter had a nightmare and came to you?” Danny asked in disbelief and if Steve wasn’t imagining things he sounded a bit hurt too.
“I just happened to be coming upstairs.” Steve explained. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
“You could have,” Danny said. “Is she okay?”
“I think so. We had tea and talked about it,” Steve answered.
“You had tea and talked about it?” Danny muttered in disbelief.
“What?” Steve asked, genuinely offended.
“Nothing,” Danny said shaking his head. “Is there anything else I need to know?”
“Well...” Steve hesitated. “I’m not sure how much she remembers about what happened.”
“What do you mean?” Danny asked his head jerking up. Now that Danny was looking directly at him Steve could see that his eyes were red-rimmed and puffy.
“She asked where her mom was,” Steve said, hating that the mention of Rachel caused Danny to wince before he stilled his expression. “I deflected. I thought it would be better for you to talk to her.”
Danny nodded and returned his gaze to the floor. “So what did you find out at the house?”
“Not much,” Steve replied. “It looks like Stan was the target but we’re not sure why. Chin and Kono are following up on some leads.”
“Of course he was,” Danny growled. “Once I find someone to watch Grace, I’ll--”
“No,” Steve interrupted firmly. “You take care of Grace and I’ll take care of this.”
“If you think,” Danny hissed, his voice rising with every word. “That someone can kill my wife, the mother of my child and I’m just going to sit back and twiddle my thumbs—“
“Shhh,” Steve interrupted gesturing at Grace’s door. To his great relief, Danny actually stopped ranting at the reminder and frowned at Steve. With a sigh, Steve pointed to his room at the end of the hall.
As soon as they entered the bedroom and closed the door Danny picked up where he left off. “There is no way I’m not working this case, Steve.”
Steve opened his mouth to reply but Danny held up a hand to stop him.
“I’m not done,” Danny said pointing a finger at him accusingly. “You worked your father’s case. You called in a favor with the fucking Governor to work that case.”
“I know,” Steve acknowledged. “But I didn’t have anyone. You have Grace and she needs you, not some stranger right now. Let us handle this for you. Let me do this.”
“This is my family, not yours,” Danny said. “My responsibility.”
Steve closed his eyes. Danny’s dismissal actually hurt. But this wasn’t about him. “You can’t go out there half-cocked looking for vengeance. You have to do what’s best for Grace.”
Danny sighed and Steve saw the fight drain out of him. He watched as Danny sank down to sit on the edge of Steve’s bed. “Do you think I don’t know that? I’m not an idiot, Steve, but seriously, what the hell am I supposed to do? I need to do something!”
Steve sat down next to Danny and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll figure it out. And don’t worry, we’ll keep you in the loop with the case.”
Danny nodded and raised his eyes to meet Steve’s. Steve found that he couldn’t look away from the watery blue eyes in front of him. He was locked into the stare, his hand still resting on Danny’s shoulder, trying to fight down the urge to raise his other hand to wipe away a stray tear that had escaped to roll down Danny’s cheek.
He felt fiercely protective of his partner and he wanted more than anything to comfort him. To touch him. But Steve did his best to squash that desire because the last thing Danny needed was for Steve to go all soft and weird on him now.
After a moment Danny looked away and cleared his throat. “Thanks for taking care of Grace tonight.”
“Always,” Steve said his own voice a bit rough. The words seemed to break the spell, and he was suddenly uncomfortable with the intimacy. He pulled his hand away quickly and got up from the bed. He was afraid to even look at Danny so he turned his back and began to dig around in his dresser for clean clothes.
“Well,” Danny said in a falsely cheery voice. “I suppose I ought to go back to bed. There are a few nightmares with my name on them.”
Steve nodded in acknowledgement but kept his back turned until Danny left the room. As soon as he was gone he let his shoulders sag. Steve needed to get himself under control. Danny and Grace had been through so much and they needed him to be their rock until they got back on their feet. The last thing Danny needed was to deal with Steve’s feelings on top of everything else.
But no matter how hard he tried to deny it, he knew that things had been in flux between him and Danny for a long time now, since long before Rachel had come back into Danny’s life. Sooner or later things were going to come to a head and he just hoped that Danny didn’t hate him when it happened.
**
“No!” Grace screamed. “I’m not staying here! I want to go to school!”
Danny rubbed at his temples. “But Monkey, the funeral is today.”
“I’m not going!” she yelled before opening the door and stomping outside in the direction of the beach.
Steve watched as Danny slumped against the wall. Grace had been angry and picking fights for the last few days now. Personally Steve thought that Danny was being too easy on her, just because she was hurting didn’t mean she had to take it all out on her father.
“She blames me,” Danny sighed. “And I can’t really blame her for that.”
Steve frowned. “You’re not responsible for this no matter how much displaced rage Grace aims at you.”
“Displaced rage? Look at you Dr. Freud,” Danny said. A smile ghosted over his lips for a moment. “She’s right though. I should have been there. If I had gotten that call sooner--”
“You listened to the voicemail right after the call came in. I don’t think the twenty extra seconds would have changed the outcome,” Steve interrupted, not for the first time trying to apply logic to comfort Danny. So far his efforts had met with little success.
“But what if--” Danny started.
“Stop it.” Steve said, his patience wearing thin after days of Danny’s doubts. “You have to stop blaming yourself. How far back are you going to go with it? The divorce? If you hadn’t divorced you would have been there? It’s just not healthy, Danny.”
“If we hadn’t divorced we wouldn’t even be on this damned island to begin with,” Danny snapped before turning to look out the window at Grace.
Steve bit down hard on his cheek to keep from snapping back at Danny. He knew, or at least hoped, that Danny didn’t mean it or any of the other bitter, pointed comments he’d directed at him the last few days. Grace may have been raging loudly but Danny’s anger was slow-burning and harsh. He had insulted Hawaii as a whole and Steve specifically more times than he could count and unlike their usual banter there was no humor, no wink and a smile. But Steve was a big boy. If Danny needed a punching bag he could take it.
“I don’t know what to say to her,” Danny said tiredly a moment later.
“I’ll go talk to her,” Steve offered. When Danny didn’t acknowledge his offer, he walked briskly out of the door and towards the beach anyway.
When he got down to the beach he found Grace throwing stones as hard as she could at the water. “Nice arm. Have you thought about playing softball?”
“Go away,” she said, not looking at him.
“No,” Steve said. “I’m not your father and I won’t have you speaking to me that way.”
Grace turned to look at him then. He could see the retort die on her lips when she saw the serious look on his face.
“Here’s the thing,” Steve said. “You’re angry. I get that but if you don’t go to your mother’s funeral then you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
“How would you know?” she muttered under her breath. It was obvious that she didn’t intend him to hear her, but despite excessive exposure to explosions Steve had very good hearing.
“My mother was killed when I was sixteen,” he replied. “She was murdered just like your mom so believe me I know.”
“She was?” Grace asked looking at him in surprise.
“Yes,” Steve answered. “And going to the funeral means you can tell your mom just how much you loved her and then you can say goodbye.”
“But what if I don’t want to say goodbye?” Grace asked quietly, all of her anger gone.
“Goodbye doesn’t mean forever.” Steve sat down on the soft sand and gestured for Grace to join him. “It just means for now.”
“But she’s not coming back?” Grace asked, almost like she wasn’t really sure.
“No,” Steve said. “She’s not coming back. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t still out there somewhere watching or that someday you won’t see her again.”
“You mean like heaven?” Grace asked.
“Yes, like heaven,” he answered honestly.
“Do you believe in heaven?” she asked.
Steve realized that he wasn’t sure what religion if any Danny was but just like with the nightmares he decided that the only thing he could do was tell her the truth. “I want to. Sometimes I’m not sure but there is one thing I do know. My mom is always with me. My dad too. And I live my life in a way that I think would make them proud.”
“I want my mom to be proud of me too.” Grace said picking up a handful of sand and letting it run through her fingers.
“I’m sure she is,” Steve said, “but Grace, you can’t keep taking all of your anger out on your dad. He’s hurting too you know.”
She was quiet for a long time and Steve started to think that maybe she didn’t actually know that Danny was hurting. “Grace, tell me what you’re thinking.”
Grace didn’t say anything, so he prompted her again. “Grace?”
“Dad and Mom fought all the time,” she whispered. “About me. He’s probably happy that she’s gone.”
“Oh, Grace,” Steve said gently. “Your dad loved your mom very much. I know they fought a lot but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love her. Believe me, the last thing he wanted was for anything bad to happen to her.”
Grace looked up at him then. “I guess I know that. But I’m just so mad.”
“At him?”
“Yes,” she said. “Why didn’t he get there sooner? He’s a policeman. He’s supposed to save people and get the bad guys.”
“That’s not fair, Grace. Cops aren’t like Superman. They’re real people who are trying very hard to make the world a better place.” Steve dropped his voice to a whisper. “But can I tell you a secret?”
She nodded with interest.
“Your dad is my hero,” he whispered.
“Really?” she asked.
He nodded solemnly before raising his voice again. “Do you think you can try to be a little nicer to Danno?”
She nodded. “I guess I can try. Steve?”
“Yes?”
“What if something happens to Danno too?” she asked quietly as she stared intently at her toes.
Steve closed his eyes. So that was what this was all about. Grace was afraid that she was going to lose Danny too and was pushing him away instead. It was easier to make him the focus of all of her anger. It meant that she could avoid being scared and worried.
“Grace, nothing is going to happen to your dad,” he said. “Do you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because I’m his partner and I won’t let anything happen to him.”
She looked up, turning her intent stare on him. “Do you promise?”
“Yes,” he vowed. He knew that it wasn’t a promise that he should make but if it gave her some comfort then he would deal with any potential consequences when they came up. Besides, he meant every word of it. He would make sure that Danny lived a long life and not just for Grace. He didn’t think he could bear to lose another person either.
“And you’re a crazy ninja,” Grace said, a small smile creeping onto her face.
“Yup,” he said seriously. “The bad guys don’t stand a chance.”
She smiled a bit bigger before throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him.
After she pulled away, he stood up and brushed the sand off of his pants. “You should go apologize to your dad and then get dressed for the funeral.”
He hated to see the smile leave her face but was glad to see her nod and run back into the house without complaint. He crossed his arms and watched the waves lap at the shore, thinking about Grace. She was scared and angry, which in his experience was a dangerous combination.
When he had lost his mom, he had been angry at his father too. But he had avoided his dad, throwing himself into football and then the Navy. He’d done anything he could to exhaust himself physically in order to avoid thinking. It may not have been the healthiest way to grieve but he liked to think it was better than Mary who had thrown herself into a bad crowd and started coming home hours after curfew drunk. And she had only been fourteen.
Steve sighed. He could talk to Grace all he wanted but he didn’t fool himself into thinking talking was going to cure her grief or dissipate the anger. It would probably be months at the earliest before her emotions evened out and she really had control over them. But maybe he could help her feel more in control in the meantime.
“Hey,” Danny said walking down to stand beside him. “Grace just apologized to me. How did you manage that?”
Steve shrugged. “I’m not her father, she’s not lashing out at me.”
“As long as you didn’t threaten her,” Danny said.
Steve glanced at him to make sure he was joking before smiling. “Never.”
Danny sighed. “I just wish I knew how to help her through this.”
“Actually, I’ve been thinking about that,” Steve said hesitantly. He wasn’t sure what Danny would think of his idea. “I want to teach her Krav Maga.”
“Krav Maga!” Danny exclaimed in disbelief. “You want to teach my precious, sweet little girl Israeli Army combat fighting! What the hell are you thinking? The only objective is to kill your opponent. You want to teach my baby to kill? You really are insane if you think that I would let you.”
Steve calmly absorbed Danny’s ire, letting him get it out of his system. Once he had trailed off to stare angrily at Steve, Steve explained himself. “She’s terrified. She’s scared that someone is going to hurt her or hurt you and she feels helpless which makes her angry. Krav Maga would make her feel more in control and give her an outlet for all of that rage--an outlet that doesn’t involve lashing out at you.”
“When did you get your psychology degree?” Danny snapped. “Get this through your head. She’s my daughter, not yours. You will not teach my daughter Krav Maga, or boxing, or Karate, or any other fucking violence. The last thing I want is for her to turn out like you, so butt out.”
Steve couldn’t stop himself from physically recoiling at the words. There was no joke in there. Danny meant every word. He’d had just about enough of Danny’s anger being directed at him and this time it had gotten way too personal. He knew he wasn’t perfect but knowing Danny thought that little of him fucking hurt.
He couldn’t be here right now. Without a word, he turned and walked to his truck. He’d obviously been spending too much time trying to be Danny’s family when it wasn’t wanted or appreciated. It was time to do his job.
**
Danny hated himself. He’d let his mouth run off and leave his brain behind like usual and he’d apparently crossed a line. He’d realized his mistake when Steve had literally flinched at his words. Imagine that! A Navy SEAL flinching back, wounded from words. But Danny couldn’t really blame him; it had been a low blow. Still, why had he suggested teaching Grace to fight? She was just a little girl. He wanted to protect her from the evils of the world, not expose her to more of them.
He sighed; he knew it was more than that. Steve had been everywhere this week, trying to take care of him and Grace. But all it did was make Danny mad. The last several nights he’d woken to find her and Steve having tea in the kitchen. Since when did she go to Steve with her nightmares instead of him? And then today, he was fighting with her all morning about the funeral and then after one talk with Steve she was ready to go. Why was Steve insinuating himself into his daughter’s life? She was his daughter, not Steve’s.
He turned away from the ocean and walked back into the house. He had a funeral to get ready for too. He had to go bury the love of his life.
An hour later, he entered the kitchen dressed in his best black suit and found Grace already sitting at the table in her new black dress.
“You ready to go?” he asked her.
She nodded then looked around. “Dad, where’s Uncle Steve?”
“I don’t know, Monkey.” Danny sighed and resisted the urge to grind his teeth. He knew Steve was mad but he had still expected him to come back for the funeral. “He and I had a little fight this morning.”
“Oh,” she said looking down at the table. “He told me that when people fight it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.”
Danny raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t really expected that kind of insight from Steve. “He’s right.”
“So do you still love Steve?”
Danny almost choked. “Steve and I will be fine. He just needs some time to himself. What else did he tell you when you talked this morning?”
“That mommy is proud of me and is in heaven watching out for me,” she said. “And that I should be nicer to you.”
Danny was feeling even guiltier about snapping at Steve. “Anything else?”
Grace paused and he could tell she was trying to remember. “He told me a secret.”
“A secret?” Danny asked very curious now. “What was it?”
“That you’re his hero,” she said with a laugh.
Okay, now Danny felt terrible. “Did he really say that?”
She nodded.
Danny sighed. He really was the world’s biggest ass. But even so he didn’t understand this new thing between his daughter and his partner. “Grace, why do you like talking to Steve so much?”
She shrugged. “He understands.”
So Steve understood and he didn’t. It bothered him that he couldn’t be what his daughter needed and that somehow Steve was. He knew that he should be grateful that Steve was there but he couldn’t seem to smother the jealousy. Even so, he was adult enough to know that he owed Steve an apology for this morning. He’d only been trying to help in his own infuriating way.
“Come on.” Danny said gesturing toward the door. As they walked to the car he took out his cell phone and sent Steve an apology text.
**
Sorry, I’m an ass.
Steve shook his head at Danny’s text. He hadn’t really expected an apology but was happy to get one. It still didn’t change much though. Danny might feel bad but Steve knew that he had meant every word.
Steve glanced at the clock and was surprised to realize how late it was. Despite the fight he had never actually intended to skip the funeral but he had gotten drawn into the case and lost track of time until Danny’s text brought him out of it. He had spent the bulk of the morning trying to track down a lead on the far side of the island but hadn’t been having much luck.
After he’d left the beach, Steve had called Chin for an update. Chin told him that his investigation into Stan’s life had led to evidence that one of the companies that he worked for as a consultant had overt ties to the new as yet unidentified Yakuza boss in Hawaii. The Yakuza had their fingers in a lot of pies, but it seemed like too much of a coincidence to ignore.
Steve had hoped that with the arrest of Noshimuri, the Yakuza would have taken a while to regroup. He wasn’t naive, he knew that they would be back in business eventually, but it was frustrating that despite having cut the head off of the snake they had already rebounded so efficiently. He supposed that was why they had remained relevant for centuries.
Apparently the new leader--whoever he was--had recently gotten them involved in one of the hotels that Stan worked for, using it to launder their money and provide a front for some of their other businesses. Chin had said that once a month the hotel hosted a very popular and very illegal high stakes poker game and Steve had volunteered to track down the concierge that invited the rich and famous to the game. He was hoping that the concierge could identify his contacts in the organization, but the man had proven difficult to find. The address that the DMV had on file had led to a recently abandoned apartment and so he’d spent most of the morning following in the man’s footsteps.
Steve looked at the clock again. He hated to miss the funeral but there was no way he could make it back in time, however if he left now he might be able to make it to the graveside service. Deciding that his latest lead, which was the man’s ex-girlfriend, could wait until tomorrow, he made a u-turn and floored the gas, heading back toward home to change clothes.
By the time he made it to the cemetery, wearing his dress uniform, he was one of the last to arrive. He wove through the crowd looking for Danny. It didn’t matter that he was still mad at Danny; he wanted to be nearby in case his partner needed him. He saw Chin and Kono standing together near the back of the crowd and nodded as he passed.
A lot of people had shown up for the funeral, but Steve finally managed to slip in directly behind Danny. He was standing stiffly next to a severe looking woman that Steve recognized from the pictures at Rachel’s house as her mother. Grace was standing between them holding both of their hands. Something about the situation reminded Steve of a game of tug o’ war with Grace playing the part of the rope.
Steve hated that other than Grace, Chin, Kono, and himself, there was nobody here for Danny. In fact, considering the divorce, most of Rachel’s friends and family were likely to be actually hostile towards Danny. Especially since, as far as Steve knew, their tentative reconciliation wasn’t known to anyone but him.
Steve reached out to touch Danny’s arm to let him know that he wasn’t alone. At the touch, Danny turned around and some of the tension seemed to drain out of him when he saw Steve. Steve squeezed Danny’s arm gently then dropped his hand and turned to the priest who was calling for everyone's attention.
The service was like most of the others that Steve had attended in his life--he had been to way too many funerals for a man his age--and so he phased out the priest, keeping his focus on Danny. A few times during the service, Danny’s shoulders began to hunch up and each time, without hesitation, Steve reached out to rest his hand on Danny’s back in a silent show of support. The third time he touched Danny, Steve was surprised to feel him leaning back into his hand. Steve let his hand linger a moment before dropping it.
Once the casket had been lowered, Grace led the family in sprinkled dirt as the guests began to disperse. Steve stepped back and watched, keeping one eye on Danny and the other on the crowd. It was unlikely but there was a possibility that one of these people had been involved in the attack or knew who was behind it.
It wasn’t long before his full attention was drawn to Danny. He was standing off to the side arguing heatedly with Rachel’s mother. Steve watched as he began gesturing wildly, his hands slicing through the air. His first instinct was to go over there and see what was going on but he resisted. He didn’t think that Danny would take kindly to him interfering again today.
Several minutes later Danny, threw his hands up in apparent defeat and stomped off toward his car. Steve’s heart dropped as he watched Danny drive off, tires squealing, while Grace walked toward another car with her grandmother.
“What just happened?” Chin asked walking up next to Steve.
“I have no idea,” Steve replied as he watched Grace get into the car.
“Is that Rachel’s mother?”
Steve nodded.
It scared Steve that Danny had just left without saying a word. He knew that concern for Grace was the only thing holding Danny together at the moment and Steve was afraid that without her presence, he wouldn’t be able to take the grief. Sometime very soon everything was going to be too much for Danny and he was going to break.
Steve tore his eyes away from the car and turned to face Chin. “I need to go find him.”
Chin nodded. “Kono and I’ll go back to headquarters and make sure Grace’s grandmother doesn’t have any immediate flight plans.”
Steve shot Chin a grateful look before jogging down to his truck. He didn’t know what was going on with Grace, but he’d be damned if that woman got her onto a plane before he found out.
~NEXT~
Author:
shinysylverCharacters/Pairing: Steve/Danny, Grace
Word Count: 20,118
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own Hawaii Five-0.
Warning: death of a canon character
Summary: When Rachel is killed Steve has his work cut out for him trying to hold Danny and Grace together. He may be the only one who really understands Grace’s pain but between Danny taking his own anger out on Steve and all of the unresolved feelings between the two of them nothing is easy.
Artist:
chosenfire28Art Post: The art post can be found here. Be sure to go leave some love.
Author's Note: Written for the
h50_bigbang This story follows canon through episode 1.23 but diverges from there. The finale did not happen. The title is from the song “Everybody’s Changing” by Keane. Special thanks to forcellari, somehowunbroken and jesseofthenorth for their beta work and support. Also, many, many thanks to chosenfire28 for her wonderful artwork.Grace ran through the halls, her bare feet slapping loudly on the floor. She clutched her mom’s cell phone close to her chest as she ran toward the farthest guest room. As soon as she reached the door she heard a loud crash downstairs followed by her mother screaming. Tears running down her face, she scrabbled desperately at the door knob. When she finally managed to make the knob work she fell into the room, the cell phone flying out of her hands in the process.
Grace immediately scrambled to her knees and crawled as far back under the bed as she could, afraid that the bad men would be coming for her. She knew from hours of playing hide-and-seek that no one would be able to see her because of the long bed skirt. It wasn't until she was all the way under the bed that she realized she wasn't holding the phone any more.
When the bad men had come, her mom had told her to hide. She’d thrust her cell phone into Grace’s hand and told her to call her father. She hadn’t wanted to leave her mom but she was scared and Daddy always told her that if something happened she should hide and be really quiet.
Grace took a deep breath and crawled carefully to the edge of the bed. She slowly pulled the bed skirt aside and saw the cell phone lying on the floor near the open door. She was about to rush out and get it when she heard Stan yelling something that was too muffled to understand.
Then she heard the loud crack of gunshots.
**
“Will you slow down already!” Danny yelled, bracing himself as Steve sped around a tight curve. “You’re not even chasing anyone!”
“You complain an awful lot for someone who willingly hands over his keys every morning,” Steve pointed out.
“Willingly? You mean I have a choice?” Danny asked incredulously.
“Well no,” Steve smirked. “I know the area much better than you.”
“That’s the excuse you’re going with?” Danny asked.
“Seems reasonable to me,” Steve answered with a shrug.
“Well of course it seems reasonable to you,” Danny said, relaxing a bit as they reached a straight stretch of road. “You’re insane.”
“Not clinically,” Steve retorted.
“Yeah well--” Danny began but was interrupted by his phone ringing. He took a quick look at the screen and hit the ignore button. After everything that had happened in the hospital, he’d told Rachel not to call until she was out of Stan’s house. They had to do this the right way for Grace. He looked up and found Steve looking at him curiously. “It was Rachel.”
“Oh,” Steve said quietly.
Danny suppressed a sigh at the flash of hurt that briefly crossed Steve’s face. Whenever Rachel’s name was mentioned Steve got that sad puppy look before he quickly forced a happy grin. Danny wasn’t sure why Steve had a problem with him getting back together with Rachel but he obviously did. Granted it wasn’t the best of circumstances since she was still technically married. If the situation were reversed he probably wouldn’t approve either so he couldn’t really blame Steve.
His phone beeped letting him know that he had a new voicemail, so he pushed aside his thoughts and picked it up.
“Daddy! Bad men are here and they have guns. I’m scared. Please come!”
Danny’s heart clenched and stomach twisted at the sound of Grace’s frantic whispers. “Rachel’s, now.”
Steve took one look at Danny’s face and executed an illegal u-turn through a busy intersection. “What is it?”
“Grace said there were bad men. In the house..with guns,” Danny said. At his words, Steve immediately floored the gas pedal and began calling for back up.
Danny stared straight ahead and clutched his phone, hoping that Grace would call back. Why hadn’t he answered in the first place? He knew that Grace sometimes used Rachel’s phone and you would think he’d have learned his lesson after the car jacking. He was such an idiot. He had just been thinking of himself and the stupid ultimatum he had given Rachel. He was so selfish.
Danny wanted nothing more than to call Grace back to make sure she was okay and to tell her that he was coming, but if there were men there, and she was hiding like he’d taught her, he didn’t want the phone to go off and give her away.
Steve began to weave through the heavy rush hour traffic at high speeds, barely avoiding the other cars. “She’ll be okay. They’ll be okay.”
Danny didn’t say anything, instead taking his gun out of the holster and making sure it was loaded. He checked and rechecked the chamber, doing his best to keep the clawing fear at bay.
By the time they reached Rachel’s house Chin and Kono were already there with HPD back-up. Danny threw the door open before Steve had even brought the car to a full stop and began to run toward the splintered mess that used to be the front door. It looked like some bastard had taken a battering ram to it.
His only thought was to get to Grace and Rachel but before he could go very far, Chin took a step in front of him.
“Danny, you don’t want to go in there,” Chin said gently. He reached out and hesitantly rested a hand on Danny’s arm.
“Rachel? Grace?” Danny gasped, his heart pounding in his ears.
“The house is clear, but we haven’t found Grace yet,” Chin paused before continuing in a soft voice. “Danny, Rachel and Stan--”
“Move,” Danny growled, clenching his fists. He couldn’t let Chin finish that sentence. He couldn’t bear to hear the rest of it. At the moment he couldn’t afford to think about Rachel. He had to focus on Grace. He could still find Grace.
Chin looked over Danny’s shoulder, probably seeking Steve’s approval, then moved to the side. “Do yourself a favor and avoid the kitchen.”
Danny took off at a run, pushing aside an HPD officer who inadvertently got in his way. All he could think about was finding Grace. He knew that she was okay. She had to be. There was no other option that he could live with. He just had to find her.
As soon as he entered the house he screamed. “Grace!”
He barely managed to hold himself still for long enough to listen for a response before rushing into the next room and repeating the process.
He lost track of where he was, running blindly from room to room, but when he reached the kitchen, his voice caught in his throat and he stopped in shock.
There was blood everywhere and the walls were riddled with bullet holes. He could see two bodies lying next to the center island. They were huddled together, clinging to each other. His mind knew that the bodies had to be Rachel and Stan. But he couldn’t process it. He couldn’t believe that Rachel, his beautiful Rachel, was lying pale and lifeless in a puddle of blood.
He stood by the door and stared at them blankly, not seeing anything. The part of him that had been a detective for a decade knew that he must be going into shock but he couldn’t seem to do anything about it.
Danny didn’t know how long he had been standing there unable to move when he felt a hand clasp his shoulder. He tensed at the touch and raised his gun, but stilled his hand when he heard Steve’s voice murmuring softly. He idly wondered how long Steve had been there and how long he’d been talking. Danny closed his eyes and tried to focus on Steve’s voice.
“Grace’s not in here,” Steve said quietly. He carefully turned Danny around and gently led him down the hall and away from the kitchen. “Let’s look upstairs.”
Grace. He had to find Grace. Danny shrugged Steve’s hand off and allowed his training to take over. He could go into shock later. He had to find his baby girl first.
He and Steve made their way up the stairs and started moving from room to room calling for Grace. By the time they entered the third room, Danny realized that Steve never let him enter first. He always edged in front and blocked Danny’s view. If he wasn't so desperate to find Grace, he might have appreciated the concern but at the moment it was frustrating him. He was a cop--and a damn good one--he didn’t need coddling.
“I don’t need you to protect me,” he barked, as they made their way to the fourth door.
“Of course not,” Steve said calmly, even as he stepped in front of Danny to open the door to the last guest room. Danny ground his teeth in irritation but managed to hold his tongue as he followed Steve into the room.
“Grace!” Danny called, eyes scanning the corners while Steve opened the closet.
“Danno?” a small voice whispered from under the bed.
“Grace!” Danny yelled in relief dropping to his knees. He lifted up the skirt and peered under the bed. He saw his angel huddled against the wall, her eyes wide and frightened. “It’s okay sweetie. You can come out now.”
Grace quickly crawled out and threw herself at Danny. She burrowed her face against his chest and began to cry. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He kissed the top of her head and said a silent prayer of thanks.
After she calmed down Grace pulled back and looked at Danny. “Where’s Mommy?”
Danny felt his heart drop. He had no idea how to tell his little girl that her mother was dead. He looked helplessly over Grace’s shoulder at Steve. Steve gazed back at him, his eyes filled with sympathy.
“Danno?” Grace asked, beginning to struggle against him. “I want Mommy. Where’s Mommy?”
“Grace,” Danny began, trying to hold her still, “the bad men hurt your mom.”
“Is she going to be okay?”
Danny shook his head. “No Monkey, she’s not. She’s gone to heaven with Grandpa Williams.”
“But she wasn’t sick.” Grace furrowed her brows in confusion. “Grandpa was sick.”
Danny sighed. “Grace, sweetie, the bad men hurt her really bad. She can’t get better.”
“No!” Grace shouted, suddenly understanding. She pushed at him, trying to get away but he didn’t let go. After a moment she gave up and collapsed against him, once more crying uncontrollably.
Danny felt his own eyes filling with tears as he rested his cheek against her head and looked up at Steve.
“I’ll get some of her things,” Steve said, slipping out of the room and leaving Grace and Danny to their shared grief.
**
Steve shifted the box he was carrying onto one hip and unlocked the door, holding it open for Danny. “Take her into the guest room.”
Danny nodded and Steve watched him leave with Grace cradled gently in his arms. She had fallen into an exhausted sleep not long after she had stopped crying.
Steve walked over to the table and set down the box he was carrying as well as the bag of Grace’s clothes and toys he had gathered. He opened the box with a sigh and looked down at the white rabbit.
“What am I going to do with you?” He asked the rabbit before reaching into the box and gently petting the soft white fur. “More importantly, what am I going to do with them?”
Not surprisingly, the rabbit didn’t have any answers for him. Steve sighed and began to make a mental list of all of the things they would need to do.
“She’s settled in,” Danny said re-entering the room a few minutes later.
Steve looked up at the other man. “We need to get a cage for the rabbit. The one at Rachel’s was too big.”
Danny nodded absently. He sat down at the table and stared intently at the wood grain, tracing it with his finger.
“Danny, are you--”
“I’m fine,” Danny interrupted, avoiding Steve’s eyes. “Just worried about Grace. How is she ever going to get over this?”
“We’re going to find the people who did this,” Steve said firmly, “and we’re going to take them out.”
For once Danny didn’t argue about exacting a more biblical form of justice. “But what about after that? That won’t bring her mother back.”
Steve sighed and sat down across from Danny. “In time, she’ll move on. We all do.”
Danny looked up skeptically. “You didn’t move on. You became obsessed with vengeance.”
“I have a healthy desire for justice,” Steve corrected. “But it won’t matter. We will find out who did this and make sure that Grace never has to worry about it again.”
Danny slumped back in the chair and scrubbed at his face with one hand, rubbing fiercely at eyes that were too bright. “After the funeral, maybe I should take her back to New Jersey. She would be surrounded by family, and away from all these memories. And frankly, there isn’t anything keeping us here now.”
Steve’s heart dropped at the idea of Danny leaving Hawaii. “You have family here too.”
Danny stared at Steve but didn’t reply and Steve didn’t want to push the issue. He shoved it aside and instead he tried to focus on the immediate concerns.
“You can stay in Mary’s old room,” Steve said. “We can move you out of your apartment later.”
Danny looked at Steve sharply. “Move me out of my apartment? What’s wrong with my apartment?”
“Nothing, except that it’s a shit hole,” Steve answered. “It’s no place to raise children.”
Danny sat up straighter and glared at Steve. “We do fine on my weekends with her.”
“Yeah, you do fine, but one bed and one bathroom? That might be okay for two days a week but forever? What happens when she gets older?” Steve gestured at the rabbit. “And besides, you can’t have pets, can you? Do you really want to take her pet away on top of everything?”
Danny looked like he wanted to argue but instead he sighed. “If we stay in Hawaii, I’ll need to look for a new place.”
“You can stay here,” Steve said carefully. “The house is too big for just me anyway.”
Danny shook his head. “We can’t...”
“At least stay for a while,” Steve insisted. “It’ll give you some time to figure out what you’re going to do. And until we get this case figured out Grace’ll be safer with both of us around.”
“You’re right,” Danny muttered. “I really hate it when you’re right.”
Steve smiled faintly. “I need to go back out to the scene. See if Chin and Kono have found anything.”
Danny nodded. “Think you can pick up a rabbit cage on your way home?”
Steve grunted noncommittally as he headed for the door.
**
By the time Steve made it back to the scene, HPD had already processed everything under Kono’s careful supervision and Chin had gone back to headquarters to start going through the security camera footage that had been retrieved from all over the neighborhood.
Even though he trusted Kono to be thorough, Steve walked through the scene again himself. When he had been there earlier he had been too concerned about Danny and Grace to pay close attention to his surroundings. Even now it was hard to go near the kitchen without thinking of Danny standing there locked in shock. Steve had talked to him for several minutes before he had finally come back to himself. He had never seen Danny that out of it and he didn’t want to ever again.
Steve sighed and pushed thoughts of Danny away. He had a job to do.
He walked through the house, going from room to room taking careful note of everything, comparing it with his mental picture of the house from that stake out so many months ago. Several of the rooms had been tossed, but all of the jewelry and electronics seemed to be accounted for. In fact, it didn’t appear as though any valuables had been taken. It was obvious that the killers had been looking for something in particular.
Steve walked into Stan’s office and looked at the destruction around him. The killers had spent the most time here. Not only had the drawers been turned out but someone had taken the time to smash and destroy the furniture. There had been a lot of rage directed toward the room which told Steve that whoever had done this was after Stan, and it was personal.
He knelt down to sift through the contents of the desk drawers which had been dumped on the floor but looked up when Kono entered the room
“Find anything, Boss?”
“Stan’s the key,” he said, standing and joining her near the door. “Did you find his computer or phone?”
“No,” Kono said shaking her head. “There wasn’t a computer left in the house, not even Grace’s.”
“But they left the jewelry and the TVs.”
“Not to mention a safe full of cash,” Kono added.
“Tell Chin to dig as deep as he can into Stan’s life,” Steve said, starting to walk. “I want to know everything.”
Kono nodded, taking out her phone.
“And I want you to pay a visit to Bruce Hoffman,” Steve continued. “I doubt he’s involved but he has made a threat before.”
“What are you going to do?” Kono asked curiously, as they made their way out of the house.
“I’m going to get a rabbit cage,” Steve replied.
To her credit, Kono didn’t even bat an eye. When they reached her car she reached out and grabbed Steve’s arm. “Take care of them. Chin and I have this.”
Steve nodded. “Keep me in the loop.”
Steve got into the car and headed out towards the nearest pet store. It went against everything he was to leave and turn bulk of the investigation over to someone else, but he needed to be there for Danny. Danny and Grace were all alone on this island. He’d told Danny on more than one occasion that he had family in Hawaii. Steve was that family.
Steve knew that Danny didn’t see their partnership the same way that he did. That had been made clear after the sarin attack. When Steve had seen Danny go down, not able to breathe, everything had snapped into startling clarity for him. Danny was everything. He was everything Steve wanted in his life, everything he needed. And for one brief moment, as he had gazed down at Danny in the hospital, he had thought Danny might feel the same way about him.
So it had been a shock when he’d walked in on Danny and Rachel together in the hospital but Danny had looked so happy, so very happy, that he had forced a smile. When it came down to it, Steve just wanted Danny happy and if he was happy with Rachel then so be it. And if Steve clung onto Danny tighter than necessary when they hugged, well he was only human.
But now, with Rachel gone, Steve knew that Danny was going to be devastated and he had to push his own feelings aside. He had to be there for Danny as a friend and a partner. Whatever it took.
**
Grace was running through the halls. She could hear footsteps behind her but was too scared to turn around. Her heart was racing and her breaths were coming fast. All she knew was that she had to get away. So she ran for what seemed like hours, taking turn after turn until she rounded a corner only to find a dead end. There was nowhere left to go and the footsteps were getting louder.
Grace jerked awake with a gasp. The cold terror from the dream was made worse by the fact that she had no idea where she was. She was in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar house. Grace opened her mouth to scream for her mother but she squashed the instinct. The fog of sleep was fading from her head and she remembered that there had been bad men in her house. What if they had kidnapped her?
Despite her racing heart, Grace got up as quietly as she could and began to explore the room. It was obviously a bedroom but it didn’t look like anyone had used it in a long time. It was mostly bare except for the furniture, but there were some football trophies on the dresser and a Boy Scout sash covered with patches was hanging over the mirror. She carefully opened the dresser drawers, hoping to find something, anything, to tell her where she was but all of them were empty.
She checked the closet next and found some sports equipment. Grace decided that the baseball bat would make her feel safer if this really was the bad men’s house so she picked it up before closing the closet door. She took one last look around but didn’t see anything else of use. The room actually reminded her of her room back in New Jersey after all of the stuff had been boxed up to move, which made her wonder where the boy who had lived in this room had moved to.
Grace shook her head to clear her thoughts and made her way to the door. She carefully turned the knob and peeked out into the hallway. She didn’t see anybody so she tiptoed out carrying the bat with her. She was nearly to the stairs when she heard someone coming up them. Driven by pure instinct, she quickly ducked into the shadows beside the staircase and swung the bat out at the person.
**
“Oomph,” Steve grunted as he caught the bat in his hand. “Grace?”
“Uncle Steve?” Grace whispered stepping out of the shadows.
“What are you doing?” Steve asked as he took the bat from her. He had to admit he was impressed that she had found his old bat and was bold enough to attack him with it. She definitely took after her father.
“I thought you were one of the bad men.” Grace explained, her voice shaky. “Where am I? Where’s Danno? Where’s Mommy?”
Steve mentally flinched at the mention of Rachel but did his best to keep his face blank. “You’re at my house. You and your dad are going to be staying here for a little while.”
“Oh,” Grace said obviously confused.
“You should go back to bed,” Steve suggested uncomfortably. It wasn’t his place to answer her questions. He knew that she and Danny needed to have a long talk about a lot of things in the morning and it would be best for all concerned if she went back to bed until then.
“I can’t.” Grace’s voice was trembling but she was still standing straight, her shoulders squared bravely.
Steve frowned down at her. “Why not?”
“I had a nightmare,” she whispered.
“Oh.” Steve thought fast. He could wake Danny up but he’d really hate to do that. Surely he could handle a nightmare. “Why don’t you come downstairs and I’ll make you some tea? That always helps me when I have nightmares.”
“Okay,” Grace said quietly as she followed him down the stairs.
When they reached the kitchen, Steve indicated that Grace should take a seat at the table before he went about the familiar ritual of filling the kettle. Once he had the water on to boil, he selected a soothing chamomile blend from the pantry and retrieved two of his mother’s delicate tea cups and their saucers from the cupboard. He worked in silence because he didn’t know what to say or how to comfort an eight year old girl who had just lost her mother and was suffering from nightmares. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure that eight year olds liked tea but he figured that Grace would have objected by now if she didn’t want it.
A few minutes later he set one floral cup in front of Grace, before sitting down on the other side of the table. “Be careful, it’s hot.”
Grace nodded. She didn’t reach for her tea but instead watched him intently as he sipped his.
“Do you really have nightmares?”
“Yes,” Steve answered.
“What about?” Grace asked.
“Lots of things,” Steve replied. He wasn’t sure how much of his life he should be revealing to a child but he couldn’t see any purpose in lying to her. “Sometimes I dream about the war.”
“The war? Daddy said you’re a soldier.”
Steve frowned. “I’m a sailor and a SEAL.”
“Oh.” Grace dropped her eyes to stare down at her cup.
Steve sighed. He doubted that she knew the difference. “It’s a lot like being a soldier. We fight in wars too.”
“Against the bad men?” she asked looking back up.
“Yes,” Steve said firmly. “We fight against the bad men.”
“Good.” Grace stared at him for a moment then slowly picked up her cup and took a tiny sip. It must have met with her approval because she then took a much bigger drink. “This tastes different than mom’s but I still like it.”
“There are lots of different kinds of tea.” Steve smiled. He should have known that the daughter of a British immigrant would have a taste for tea.
Grace nodded then set her cup back down and looked at him seriously. “My nightmare was about the bad men.”
Steve hesitated. He wanted to ask her if she remembered them, if she had seen the men who had broken into her house. But he didn’t think that this was the time for that so instead he pushed aside the case and tried to do what he imagined Danny would in this situation. “The bad men can’t get you here. Your dad and I are both here and nothing is going to happen.”
“Dad says that you’re like a crazy ninja,” Grace said looking him up and down like she didn’t quite believe it.
Steve laughed. He was going to love giving Danny hell about that. “Does he? Well, that means you’re definitely safe here because no one could get past a crazy ninja, could they?”
Grace shook her head before rubbing tiredly at her eyes. She was still tense, much tenser than Steve liked, but she seemed a lot calmer than when he first found her.
“Okay then,” Steve said standing up. He gathered their cups and took them to the sink. “Do you think you can go to sleep now?”
Grace nodded and stood up sleepily. She was almost out of the kitchen when she turned around. “Uncle Steve? Will you stay with me? Just ‘til I go to sleep?”
Steve looked up from the cup he was washing in surprise. He briefly wondered if maybe he should go wake Danny up, but if he’d actually managed to go to sleep, Steve didn’t want to disturb him. Steve knew from experience that sleep was hard to come by at times like this. Making up his mind, he set the cup down, wordlessly followed Grace up to his old room, and sat down in the chair next to the bed.
“Goodnight, Uncle Steve,” Grace whispered as she pulled the blankets up under her chin.
“Goodnight, Grace,” Steve replied. He settled back into the hard chair and watched her, wondering how long he should stay.
**
“What are you doing?” Danny whispered loudly from the door causing Steve to jerk awake. Danny was the only person he knew who could whisper loudly. Steve hadn’t even realized that it was possible until he’d met Danny. The man wasn’t able to do anything quietly.
Steve was momentarily disoriented but after a quick inventory of his surroundings, he remembered that Grace had asked him to stay until she went to sleep and he must have drifted off himself. He stood up and joined Danny in the hall, closing the door behind him. “She had a nightmare.”
“My daughter had a nightmare and came to you?” Danny asked in disbelief and if Steve wasn’t imagining things he sounded a bit hurt too.
“I just happened to be coming upstairs.” Steve explained. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
“You could have,” Danny said. “Is she okay?”
“I think so. We had tea and talked about it,” Steve answered.
“You had tea and talked about it?” Danny muttered in disbelief.
“What?” Steve asked, genuinely offended.
“Nothing,” Danny said shaking his head. “Is there anything else I need to know?”
“Well...” Steve hesitated. “I’m not sure how much she remembers about what happened.”
“What do you mean?” Danny asked his head jerking up. Now that Danny was looking directly at him Steve could see that his eyes were red-rimmed and puffy.
“She asked where her mom was,” Steve said, hating that the mention of Rachel caused Danny to wince before he stilled his expression. “I deflected. I thought it would be better for you to talk to her.”
Danny nodded and returned his gaze to the floor. “So what did you find out at the house?”
“Not much,” Steve replied. “It looks like Stan was the target but we’re not sure why. Chin and Kono are following up on some leads.”
“Of course he was,” Danny growled. “Once I find someone to watch Grace, I’ll--”
“No,” Steve interrupted firmly. “You take care of Grace and I’ll take care of this.”
“If you think,” Danny hissed, his voice rising with every word. “That someone can kill my wife, the mother of my child and I’m just going to sit back and twiddle my thumbs—“
“Shhh,” Steve interrupted gesturing at Grace’s door. To his great relief, Danny actually stopped ranting at the reminder and frowned at Steve. With a sigh, Steve pointed to his room at the end of the hall.
As soon as they entered the bedroom and closed the door Danny picked up where he left off. “There is no way I’m not working this case, Steve.”
Steve opened his mouth to reply but Danny held up a hand to stop him.
“I’m not done,” Danny said pointing a finger at him accusingly. “You worked your father’s case. You called in a favor with the fucking Governor to work that case.”
“I know,” Steve acknowledged. “But I didn’t have anyone. You have Grace and she needs you, not some stranger right now. Let us handle this for you. Let me do this.”
“This is my family, not yours,” Danny said. “My responsibility.”
Steve closed his eyes. Danny’s dismissal actually hurt. But this wasn’t about him. “You can’t go out there half-cocked looking for vengeance. You have to do what’s best for Grace.”
Danny sighed and Steve saw the fight drain out of him. He watched as Danny sank down to sit on the edge of Steve’s bed. “Do you think I don’t know that? I’m not an idiot, Steve, but seriously, what the hell am I supposed to do? I need to do something!”
Steve sat down next to Danny and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll figure it out. And don’t worry, we’ll keep you in the loop with the case.”
Danny nodded and raised his eyes to meet Steve’s. Steve found that he couldn’t look away from the watery blue eyes in front of him. He was locked into the stare, his hand still resting on Danny’s shoulder, trying to fight down the urge to raise his other hand to wipe away a stray tear that had escaped to roll down Danny’s cheek.
He felt fiercely protective of his partner and he wanted more than anything to comfort him. To touch him. But Steve did his best to squash that desire because the last thing Danny needed was for Steve to go all soft and weird on him now.
After a moment Danny looked away and cleared his throat. “Thanks for taking care of Grace tonight.”
“Always,” Steve said his own voice a bit rough. The words seemed to break the spell, and he was suddenly uncomfortable with the intimacy. He pulled his hand away quickly and got up from the bed. He was afraid to even look at Danny so he turned his back and began to dig around in his dresser for clean clothes.
“Well,” Danny said in a falsely cheery voice. “I suppose I ought to go back to bed. There are a few nightmares with my name on them.”
Steve nodded in acknowledgement but kept his back turned until Danny left the room. As soon as he was gone he let his shoulders sag. Steve needed to get himself under control. Danny and Grace had been through so much and they needed him to be their rock until they got back on their feet. The last thing Danny needed was to deal with Steve’s feelings on top of everything else.
But no matter how hard he tried to deny it, he knew that things had been in flux between him and Danny for a long time now, since long before Rachel had come back into Danny’s life. Sooner or later things were going to come to a head and he just hoped that Danny didn’t hate him when it happened.
**
“No!” Grace screamed. “I’m not staying here! I want to go to school!”
Danny rubbed at his temples. “But Monkey, the funeral is today.”
“I’m not going!” she yelled before opening the door and stomping outside in the direction of the beach.
Steve watched as Danny slumped against the wall. Grace had been angry and picking fights for the last few days now. Personally Steve thought that Danny was being too easy on her, just because she was hurting didn’t mean she had to take it all out on her father.
“She blames me,” Danny sighed. “And I can’t really blame her for that.”
Steve frowned. “You’re not responsible for this no matter how much displaced rage Grace aims at you.”
“Displaced rage? Look at you Dr. Freud,” Danny said. A smile ghosted over his lips for a moment. “She’s right though. I should have been there. If I had gotten that call sooner--”
“You listened to the voicemail right after the call came in. I don’t think the twenty extra seconds would have changed the outcome,” Steve interrupted, not for the first time trying to apply logic to comfort Danny. So far his efforts had met with little success.
“But what if--” Danny started.
“Stop it.” Steve said, his patience wearing thin after days of Danny’s doubts. “You have to stop blaming yourself. How far back are you going to go with it? The divorce? If you hadn’t divorced you would have been there? It’s just not healthy, Danny.”
“If we hadn’t divorced we wouldn’t even be on this damned island to begin with,” Danny snapped before turning to look out the window at Grace.
Steve bit down hard on his cheek to keep from snapping back at Danny. He knew, or at least hoped, that Danny didn’t mean it or any of the other bitter, pointed comments he’d directed at him the last few days. Grace may have been raging loudly but Danny’s anger was slow-burning and harsh. He had insulted Hawaii as a whole and Steve specifically more times than he could count and unlike their usual banter there was no humor, no wink and a smile. But Steve was a big boy. If Danny needed a punching bag he could take it.
“I don’t know what to say to her,” Danny said tiredly a moment later.
“I’ll go talk to her,” Steve offered. When Danny didn’t acknowledge his offer, he walked briskly out of the door and towards the beach anyway.
When he got down to the beach he found Grace throwing stones as hard as she could at the water. “Nice arm. Have you thought about playing softball?”
“Go away,” she said, not looking at him.
“No,” Steve said. “I’m not your father and I won’t have you speaking to me that way.”
Grace turned to look at him then. He could see the retort die on her lips when she saw the serious look on his face.
“Here’s the thing,” Steve said. “You’re angry. I get that but if you don’t go to your mother’s funeral then you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
“How would you know?” she muttered under her breath. It was obvious that she didn’t intend him to hear her, but despite excessive exposure to explosions Steve had very good hearing.
“My mother was killed when I was sixteen,” he replied. “She was murdered just like your mom so believe me I know.”
“She was?” Grace asked looking at him in surprise.
“Yes,” Steve answered. “And going to the funeral means you can tell your mom just how much you loved her and then you can say goodbye.”
“But what if I don’t want to say goodbye?” Grace asked quietly, all of her anger gone.
“Goodbye doesn’t mean forever.” Steve sat down on the soft sand and gestured for Grace to join him. “It just means for now.”
“But she’s not coming back?” Grace asked, almost like she wasn’t really sure.
“No,” Steve said. “She’s not coming back. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t still out there somewhere watching or that someday you won’t see her again.”
“You mean like heaven?” Grace asked.
“Yes, like heaven,” he answered honestly.
“Do you believe in heaven?” she asked.
Steve realized that he wasn’t sure what religion if any Danny was but just like with the nightmares he decided that the only thing he could do was tell her the truth. “I want to. Sometimes I’m not sure but there is one thing I do know. My mom is always with me. My dad too. And I live my life in a way that I think would make them proud.”
“I want my mom to be proud of me too.” Grace said picking up a handful of sand and letting it run through her fingers.
“I’m sure she is,” Steve said, “but Grace, you can’t keep taking all of your anger out on your dad. He’s hurting too you know.”
She was quiet for a long time and Steve started to think that maybe she didn’t actually know that Danny was hurting. “Grace, tell me what you’re thinking.”
Grace didn’t say anything, so he prompted her again. “Grace?”
“Dad and Mom fought all the time,” she whispered. “About me. He’s probably happy that she’s gone.”
“Oh, Grace,” Steve said gently. “Your dad loved your mom very much. I know they fought a lot but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love her. Believe me, the last thing he wanted was for anything bad to happen to her.”
Grace looked up at him then. “I guess I know that. But I’m just so mad.”
“At him?”
“Yes,” she said. “Why didn’t he get there sooner? He’s a policeman. He’s supposed to save people and get the bad guys.”
“That’s not fair, Grace. Cops aren’t like Superman. They’re real people who are trying very hard to make the world a better place.” Steve dropped his voice to a whisper. “But can I tell you a secret?”
She nodded with interest.
“Your dad is my hero,” he whispered.
“Really?” she asked.
He nodded solemnly before raising his voice again. “Do you think you can try to be a little nicer to Danno?”
She nodded. “I guess I can try. Steve?”
“Yes?”
“What if something happens to Danno too?” she asked quietly as she stared intently at her toes.
Steve closed his eyes. So that was what this was all about. Grace was afraid that she was going to lose Danny too and was pushing him away instead. It was easier to make him the focus of all of her anger. It meant that she could avoid being scared and worried.
“Grace, nothing is going to happen to your dad,” he said. “Do you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because I’m his partner and I won’t let anything happen to him.”
She looked up, turning her intent stare on him. “Do you promise?”
“Yes,” he vowed. He knew that it wasn’t a promise that he should make but if it gave her some comfort then he would deal with any potential consequences when they came up. Besides, he meant every word of it. He would make sure that Danny lived a long life and not just for Grace. He didn’t think he could bear to lose another person either.
“And you’re a crazy ninja,” Grace said, a small smile creeping onto her face.
“Yup,” he said seriously. “The bad guys don’t stand a chance.”
She smiled a bit bigger before throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him.
After she pulled away, he stood up and brushed the sand off of his pants. “You should go apologize to your dad and then get dressed for the funeral.”
He hated to see the smile leave her face but was glad to see her nod and run back into the house without complaint. He crossed his arms and watched the waves lap at the shore, thinking about Grace. She was scared and angry, which in his experience was a dangerous combination.
When he had lost his mom, he had been angry at his father too. But he had avoided his dad, throwing himself into football and then the Navy. He’d done anything he could to exhaust himself physically in order to avoid thinking. It may not have been the healthiest way to grieve but he liked to think it was better than Mary who had thrown herself into a bad crowd and started coming home hours after curfew drunk. And she had only been fourteen.
Steve sighed. He could talk to Grace all he wanted but he didn’t fool himself into thinking talking was going to cure her grief or dissipate the anger. It would probably be months at the earliest before her emotions evened out and she really had control over them. But maybe he could help her feel more in control in the meantime.
“Hey,” Danny said walking down to stand beside him. “Grace just apologized to me. How did you manage that?”
Steve shrugged. “I’m not her father, she’s not lashing out at me.”
“As long as you didn’t threaten her,” Danny said.
Steve glanced at him to make sure he was joking before smiling. “Never.”
Danny sighed. “I just wish I knew how to help her through this.”
“Actually, I’ve been thinking about that,” Steve said hesitantly. He wasn’t sure what Danny would think of his idea. “I want to teach her Krav Maga.”
“Krav Maga!” Danny exclaimed in disbelief. “You want to teach my precious, sweet little girl Israeli Army combat fighting! What the hell are you thinking? The only objective is to kill your opponent. You want to teach my baby to kill? You really are insane if you think that I would let you.”
Steve calmly absorbed Danny’s ire, letting him get it out of his system. Once he had trailed off to stare angrily at Steve, Steve explained himself. “She’s terrified. She’s scared that someone is going to hurt her or hurt you and she feels helpless which makes her angry. Krav Maga would make her feel more in control and give her an outlet for all of that rage--an outlet that doesn’t involve lashing out at you.”
“When did you get your psychology degree?” Danny snapped. “Get this through your head. She’s my daughter, not yours. You will not teach my daughter Krav Maga, or boxing, or Karate, or any other fucking violence. The last thing I want is for her to turn out like you, so butt out.”
Steve couldn’t stop himself from physically recoiling at the words. There was no joke in there. Danny meant every word. He’d had just about enough of Danny’s anger being directed at him and this time it had gotten way too personal. He knew he wasn’t perfect but knowing Danny thought that little of him fucking hurt.
He couldn’t be here right now. Without a word, he turned and walked to his truck. He’d obviously been spending too much time trying to be Danny’s family when it wasn’t wanted or appreciated. It was time to do his job.
**
Danny hated himself. He’d let his mouth run off and leave his brain behind like usual and he’d apparently crossed a line. He’d realized his mistake when Steve had literally flinched at his words. Imagine that! A Navy SEAL flinching back, wounded from words. But Danny couldn’t really blame him; it had been a low blow. Still, why had he suggested teaching Grace to fight? She was just a little girl. He wanted to protect her from the evils of the world, not expose her to more of them.
He sighed; he knew it was more than that. Steve had been everywhere this week, trying to take care of him and Grace. But all it did was make Danny mad. The last several nights he’d woken to find her and Steve having tea in the kitchen. Since when did she go to Steve with her nightmares instead of him? And then today, he was fighting with her all morning about the funeral and then after one talk with Steve she was ready to go. Why was Steve insinuating himself into his daughter’s life? She was his daughter, not Steve’s.
He turned away from the ocean and walked back into the house. He had a funeral to get ready for too. He had to go bury the love of his life.
An hour later, he entered the kitchen dressed in his best black suit and found Grace already sitting at the table in her new black dress.
“You ready to go?” he asked her.
She nodded then looked around. “Dad, where’s Uncle Steve?”
“I don’t know, Monkey.” Danny sighed and resisted the urge to grind his teeth. He knew Steve was mad but he had still expected him to come back for the funeral. “He and I had a little fight this morning.”
“Oh,” she said looking down at the table. “He told me that when people fight it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.”
Danny raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t really expected that kind of insight from Steve. “He’s right.”
“So do you still love Steve?”
Danny almost choked. “Steve and I will be fine. He just needs some time to himself. What else did he tell you when you talked this morning?”
“That mommy is proud of me and is in heaven watching out for me,” she said. “And that I should be nicer to you.”
Danny was feeling even guiltier about snapping at Steve. “Anything else?”
Grace paused and he could tell she was trying to remember. “He told me a secret.”
“A secret?” Danny asked very curious now. “What was it?”
“That you’re his hero,” she said with a laugh.
Okay, now Danny felt terrible. “Did he really say that?”
She nodded.
Danny sighed. He really was the world’s biggest ass. But even so he didn’t understand this new thing between his daughter and his partner. “Grace, why do you like talking to Steve so much?”
She shrugged. “He understands.”
So Steve understood and he didn’t. It bothered him that he couldn’t be what his daughter needed and that somehow Steve was. He knew that he should be grateful that Steve was there but he couldn’t seem to smother the jealousy. Even so, he was adult enough to know that he owed Steve an apology for this morning. He’d only been trying to help in his own infuriating way.
“Come on.” Danny said gesturing toward the door. As they walked to the car he took out his cell phone and sent Steve an apology text.
**
Sorry, I’m an ass.
Steve shook his head at Danny’s text. He hadn’t really expected an apology but was happy to get one. It still didn’t change much though. Danny might feel bad but Steve knew that he had meant every word.
Steve glanced at the clock and was surprised to realize how late it was. Despite the fight he had never actually intended to skip the funeral but he had gotten drawn into the case and lost track of time until Danny’s text brought him out of it. He had spent the bulk of the morning trying to track down a lead on the far side of the island but hadn’t been having much luck.
After he’d left the beach, Steve had called Chin for an update. Chin told him that his investigation into Stan’s life had led to evidence that one of the companies that he worked for as a consultant had overt ties to the new as yet unidentified Yakuza boss in Hawaii. The Yakuza had their fingers in a lot of pies, but it seemed like too much of a coincidence to ignore.
Steve had hoped that with the arrest of Noshimuri, the Yakuza would have taken a while to regroup. He wasn’t naive, he knew that they would be back in business eventually, but it was frustrating that despite having cut the head off of the snake they had already rebounded so efficiently. He supposed that was why they had remained relevant for centuries.
Apparently the new leader--whoever he was--had recently gotten them involved in one of the hotels that Stan worked for, using it to launder their money and provide a front for some of their other businesses. Chin had said that once a month the hotel hosted a very popular and very illegal high stakes poker game and Steve had volunteered to track down the concierge that invited the rich and famous to the game. He was hoping that the concierge could identify his contacts in the organization, but the man had proven difficult to find. The address that the DMV had on file had led to a recently abandoned apartment and so he’d spent most of the morning following in the man’s footsteps.
Steve looked at the clock again. He hated to miss the funeral but there was no way he could make it back in time, however if he left now he might be able to make it to the graveside service. Deciding that his latest lead, which was the man’s ex-girlfriend, could wait until tomorrow, he made a u-turn and floored the gas, heading back toward home to change clothes.
By the time he made it to the cemetery, wearing his dress uniform, he was one of the last to arrive. He wove through the crowd looking for Danny. It didn’t matter that he was still mad at Danny; he wanted to be nearby in case his partner needed him. He saw Chin and Kono standing together near the back of the crowd and nodded as he passed.
A lot of people had shown up for the funeral, but Steve finally managed to slip in directly behind Danny. He was standing stiffly next to a severe looking woman that Steve recognized from the pictures at Rachel’s house as her mother. Grace was standing between them holding both of their hands. Something about the situation reminded Steve of a game of tug o’ war with Grace playing the part of the rope.
Steve hated that other than Grace, Chin, Kono, and himself, there was nobody here for Danny. In fact, considering the divorce, most of Rachel’s friends and family were likely to be actually hostile towards Danny. Especially since, as far as Steve knew, their tentative reconciliation wasn’t known to anyone but him.
Steve reached out to touch Danny’s arm to let him know that he wasn’t alone. At the touch, Danny turned around and some of the tension seemed to drain out of him when he saw Steve. Steve squeezed Danny’s arm gently then dropped his hand and turned to the priest who was calling for everyone's attention.
The service was like most of the others that Steve had attended in his life--he had been to way too many funerals for a man his age--and so he phased out the priest, keeping his focus on Danny. A few times during the service, Danny’s shoulders began to hunch up and each time, without hesitation, Steve reached out to rest his hand on Danny’s back in a silent show of support. The third time he touched Danny, Steve was surprised to feel him leaning back into his hand. Steve let his hand linger a moment before dropping it.
Once the casket had been lowered, Grace led the family in sprinkled dirt as the guests began to disperse. Steve stepped back and watched, keeping one eye on Danny and the other on the crowd. It was unlikely but there was a possibility that one of these people had been involved in the attack or knew who was behind it.
It wasn’t long before his full attention was drawn to Danny. He was standing off to the side arguing heatedly with Rachel’s mother. Steve watched as he began gesturing wildly, his hands slicing through the air. His first instinct was to go over there and see what was going on but he resisted. He didn’t think that Danny would take kindly to him interfering again today.
Several minutes later Danny, threw his hands up in apparent defeat and stomped off toward his car. Steve’s heart dropped as he watched Danny drive off, tires squealing, while Grace walked toward another car with her grandmother.
“What just happened?” Chin asked walking up next to Steve.
“I have no idea,” Steve replied as he watched Grace get into the car.
“Is that Rachel’s mother?”
Steve nodded.
It scared Steve that Danny had just left without saying a word. He knew that concern for Grace was the only thing holding Danny together at the moment and Steve was afraid that without her presence, he wouldn’t be able to take the grief. Sometime very soon everything was going to be too much for Danny and he was going to break.
Steve tore his eyes away from the car and turned to face Chin. “I need to go find him.”
Chin nodded. “Kono and I’ll go back to headquarters and make sure Grace’s grandmother doesn’t have any immediate flight plans.”
Steve shot Chin a grateful look before jogging down to his truck. He didn’t know what was going on with Grace, but he’d be damned if that woman got her onto a plane before he found out.
