Staring Into the Abyss

Date watched: Saturday, April 30

Episode: 4.13 After School Special, 4.14 Sex and Violence, 4.15 Death Takes a Holiday, 4.16 On the Head of a Pin

After School Special is another episode that shows us Sam and Dean’s childhood. This time it’s flashbacks to high school where we see Sam first deciding he can be his own man and doesn’t have to follow his father blindly. At the same time we see that Dean struggles so hard to be “cool” but that the other students see through him. It’s always fun to see the boys’ past.

Sex and Violence is an interesting standalone that looks at the relationship between Sam and Dean. We are past the midway point of the season so things are getting ready to spiral out of control and this episode hints at that. We start the episode with Dean listening in to Sam’s phone conversation with Ruby before they leave for a hunt. They end up hunting a siren who actually seduces Dean in the guise of a man because Dean longs so much for a better relationship with his brother. (And also may not be entirely straight.) I find this look at Dean’s desires to be extremely fascinating.

The siren eventually exposes enough of Sam and Dean’s issues that they have an all out physical fight that is eventually stopped by Bobby because Bobby is awesome and also much too reasonable for this show.

Death Takes a Holiday brings the story back to the seals as Alistair tries to break one by killing two reapers including Tessa. It’s nice to see her again and she tries to give Dean a wake up call about the angelic intentions. We also continue to see how strained Dean and Sam’s relationship is as Sam continues to lie to Dean. The fun part of this episode comes from Sam and Dean being temporary ghosts and having to learn the ropes.

The thing I really don’t like about this episode is that they killed Pamela off. She was such an interesting character with a lot of potential and every time I watch the episode I’m thinking “why can’t you ward the freaking room? you know there are demons.” And yet every time no one listens to me.

On the Head of a Pin is an absolutely vital episode. When the angels ask Dean to torture Alistair for information it leads to him having to confront what he became in hell and its impact on the apocalypse. Equally important it leads Cas to doubt his orders as he’s forced to put Dean in this place. We see Cas truly struggling with his role and the scene at the end of the episode with Cas at Dean’s hospital bedside is one of the most heart wrenching moments of this show and also one of my favorites.

Random thoughts:

-Dean defensively saying “I read” happens occasionally on the show. I love his hidden depths, but wish they wouldn’t be so hidden. Lets actually see him reading something noteworthy just for fun instead of hearing about it later.

Date watched: Sunday, April 24

Episode: 4.11 Family Remains and 4.12 Criss Angel Is a Douchebag

Family Remains is one of the few episodes of this series that does not involve any aspect of the supernatural. I understand why horror shows want to occasionally shine the light on human horrors, but they are rarely my favorite episodes. In this case the only part I really enjoy is seeing Dean’s emotions as he tries to deal with hell. He’s so desperate to save people and he also relates to the murderous feral kids in the episode because he knows what it’s like to live through hell.

At the end of the episode he reveals to Sam that he liked torturing in hell, that it gave him pleasure to do that to others after the torture he’d lived through. That’s the darkness inside him that he’s constantly trying to right and that he knows he can’t.

Criss Angel Is a Douchebag is a somewhat lighter episode with the magician theme, but it covers some pretty sad territory. Most of the episode is focused on the three older magicians, their friendship and the difficulties of growing old. The story is strong and it’s a good episode if a bit light on the boys. Unfortunately Sam doesn’t get the moral of the story (don’t mess with magic because it’s addictive and leads to bad things) and instead decides he doesn’t want to be hunting when he’s old so he might as well work with Ruby again now. *sigh*

Random thoughts:

-It will never not be amusing to see Dean accidentally wander into an underground leather bar and meet up with Chief for his BDSM session. I wonder how the old magicians even knew to send him there?

-It’s cute that Sam went through a magician phase at thirteen.

Date watched: Sunday, April 17

Episode: 4.08 Wishful Thinking, 4.09 I Know What You Did Last Summer, 4.10 Heaven and Hell

Wishful Thinking is full of dark humor. Watching the boys be teddy bear doctors is hilarious, but seeing a suicidal teddy bear is pretty dark. The overall humorous tone of the episode also provides a counterbalance for some pretty dark character development moments. Both Winchesters express that life isn’t about being happy, that it’s about suffering which is cheerful.

Sam reveals that if he had any wish it would be Lilith’s head on a plate which clearly concerned Dean. It’s such a dark wish that shows where he is emotionally right now.The episode also highlights Dean’s continuing struggles post-Hell. He’s drinking too much—even stealing alcohol in this ep—and having nightmares. By the end of the episode he is honest with Sam about the way he’s struggling but refuses to talk about it with Sam which I actually feel is fair in this context. It may be better for him to talk about it, but as he said, how could he even make Sam understand?

I Know What You Did Last Summer introduces us to Anna who I’ve always been extremely fond of and Alistair who I loathe, but since he’s an evil tortuous demon that’s the intent. It’s a plot heavy episode that brings Anna into the angel story and also shows us more about what Sam did while Dean was dead and the role Ruby plays in his life.

I think more than anything Dean’s issues with Ruby are because he doesn’t know what her end game is. Later when he works with Crowley and Meg he knows what they are getting out of it so he’s willing to warily ally with them. With Ruby, she plays at some sort of altruism regarding Sam and there is no way Dean falls for that.

Heaven and Hell directly picks up where the last episode left off. We find out about Anna’s angelic past and she and Dean have a conversation about the appeal of free will and human emotions. It’s a theme that’s a continual thread for the entire series.

Anna, Ruby, Dean, and Sam play Uriel and Alistair off of each other at great personal cost. Ruby is tortured extensively by Alistair and Anna gives up her hard won humanity to take back her Grace. The episode tried to make it look like Ruby was betraying them, but in this case it was all part of the plan.

Most importantly—and heartbreakingly—was the reveal of Dean’s hell experiences. Alistair and Uriel both tell parts, but at the end of the episode Dean comes clean to Sam about getting off the rack after thirty years and torturing others. He completely breaks down with way more than a single tear and it hurts me to watch.


Random thoughts:

-Heaven and Hell has Uriel telling Dean that Castiel likes Dean which is a weakness. I think that’s the first time we hear that about Cas (although it certainly won’t be the last).

I’ve been thinking about Hell’s Angel a lot and especially the Amara moment at the end of the episode.

Specifically that moment where Dean said “Cas” and she stopped to look at him and then changed course.

Firstly, I think she saw something in Dean in that moment that she had never experienced before–true friendship and unselfish caring. At the beginning of the episode she talked about how Crowley used her and then Rowena’s offer of friendship was two-faced. Amara has never experienced a relationship with anyone who wasn’t trying to use her and then there in that moment she saw it in Dean and his concern for Cas.

I also think she saw that concern and decided not to cause Dean more pain by torturing Lucifer in front of him. She does care about Dean on some twisted and selfish and broken level and because of that she took Lucifer out of Dean’s sight before having her “talk.”

The thing about Amara is that she is still very young and naive in a lot of ways despite her age and vast power. She’s never had anyone show her how to care about someone. Maybe she needs to pay a bit more attention to Dean beyond her desire for him. She could learn a few things about family and friendship.

Date watched: Saturday, March 26
Episode: 3.11 Mystery Spot, 3.12 Jus in Bello, 3.13 Ghostfacers!, 3.14 Long Distance Call, 3.15 Time Is on My Side, 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked, 4.01 Lazarus Rising

Mystery Spot is one of my favorite episodes. From start to finish it’s brilliant. It manages to be both hilarious and sad as we watch Dean die over and over again in Gabriel’s twisted version of Groundhog’s Day. Watching Sam trying to save Dean and eventually go off the deep end when he can’t is painful. Gabriel may be right about the codependent self-sacrificial relationship between Sam and Dean being unhealthy and dangerous, but his teaching methods are sadistic and ineffective. I’m so glad they brought him back though because his presence does make for some truly special episodes.

Sam in particular really shines in this episode as we see both his love for his brother and his propensity for darkness. This ep may be my favorite Sam centric episode and Jared rocks it.

Jus in Bello ties up the FBI storyline. To keep them off of her trail, Bela tips the FBI off to Sam and Dean’s location which brings Victor Henriksen back to the show. The episode starts with Sam and Dean being arrested and what follows is a psychologically intense story where a small town sheriff’s station becomes the front line in the war against demons.

One of the more fascinating aspects of this episode is the way that it highlights that Dean truly is the “Righteous Man.” When Ruby offers them an option to eliminate the demons which involves killing a willing sacrifice he puts his foot down. Dean believes it’s better for everyone to go down fighting than for them to make the kind of moral choices that involve killing an innocent. It’s better to fight and maybe die anyway than to be sullied by that kind of action—the righteous path. Unfortunately this episode also introduces Lilith who kills everyone at the sheriff’s station once Sam and Dean leave.

Before he was killed, though, Victor fakes Sam and Dean’s death which ends the story of the FBI hunting them.

Ghostfacers! is one of the more unique episodes on a show that likes to experiment with format. In this case they fully embrace and mock the ghost hunting reality shows. Harry Spangler and Ed Zedmore return with a whole team of ghost chasing friends who get in over their heads in a haunted house. The best part of the episode is seeing Sam and Dean through a reality TV lens. Without the filtering of network TV we see more of their foul mouthed, middle finger waving, rough edges—all bleeped and blurred of course.

Long Distance Call is an episode that yet again rubs salt into the wound that is Dean’s relationship with his father. People are receiving calls from a monster imitating dead loved ones and Dean receives a call from what he thinks is his father. Once again he falls into the mindset of blind obedience, hoping that his father could be the solution to everything. His fear and desperation lead him into a trap where he almost kills an innocent man before he realizes the truth. The show is really upping the emotional ante now that it’s about time for Dean to go to hell. Only two more episodes left in the season.

Time Is on My Side shows us that at the core of their personalities Dean is the righteous man and Sam is a bit fast and loose with the moral choices. Sam may be the kinder gentler Winchester when it comes to dealing with people or seeing the shades of gray in monsters, but when his back is to the wall he often makes questionable choices. In the case of this episode Sam looks into a truly insane mad scientist as an option to keep Dean alive. Going down that path would mean that innocent people would have to die to keep Dean alive and that’s just not something that Dean can even entertain at all. Although to be fair, Dean is also motivated by his fear of becoming a literal monster because he doesn’t see the shades of gray.

This episode also moves forward several other plot points. It introduces us to Rufus who will be back in future eps. Perhaps most importantly we find out about Bela’s past and learn that she made a deal that came due. The episode ends with the hellhounds coming for Bela.

No Rest for the Wicked is a last ditch attempt to save Dean’s life by taking on Lilith. They take on Lilith and her demons in the suburbs all while Ruby dangles temptations in front of Sam. Ultimately Dean comes to terms with his death as inevitable and better than the alternatives, but Sam never does. When Lilith takes over Ruby’s body, she lets the hellhounds loose on Dean which is hard to watch. However, when she tries to attack Sam we learn that he’s immune to her power which is quite a cliffhanger for next season.

My favorite part of the episode may be when Sam and Dean sing along to Wanted Dead or Alive in the car in lieu of a more emotional conversation it’s perfect and it tears at my heart.

The season ends on a scene of Dean in hell calling for out for help and all I can think is…it’s coming and it’ll grip you tight and raise you from perdition! That’s right folks, Castiel is next episode!!

Lazarus Rising may be one of my very very favorite episodes which is saying a lot considering there are a lot of truly great episodes over eleven seasons and counting. I think that you can divide this show into two halves, before Lazarus Rising and after. I know that some people didn’t love the new direction the show took by introducing angels but I loved it.

We open on Dean waking up in his own coffin and having to dig his way out. The filming here is really great as we feel how parched and isolated he is. We pick up a few months after season three ended and we see how that time has changed both Sam and Bobby. We also get some great emotional reunions tinged with suspicion.

The episode also does a great job building up the mystery around the ominous power that was capable of bringing Dean back from hell, destroying part of a forest, branding a hand print onto his arm, breaking glass, making electronics go haywire, terrify (and kill) a whole mess of demons, and burning out the eyes of a psychic who saw him. When we finally get to the barn scene the suspense has been amped to eleven and then in walks Castiel. He was so powerful and yet looked so unassuming. It was perfect.


Random thoughts:

-Lilith uses a little girl as her vessel which is super creepy. Little kids are always creepy in horror stories.
-I’ve always wondered why Lilith’s eyes are white. Regular demons are black, crossroads demons are red, but what does white signify other than her power level?
-I really liked Pamela. She had fire.
-I love seeing Cas’ wings. I really do.

Date watched: Sunday, March 20
Episode: 3.05 Bedtime Stories, 3.06 Red Sky at Morning, 3.07 Fresh Blood

Bedtime Stories is basically a filler episode except for its continuing exploration of what Dean’s deal is doing to the relationship between him and Sam. Sam is determined to find a way to save Dean, but Dean won’t even entertain the idea out of fear for Sam. In a lot of ways Dean is very selfish in his selfless acts—he can’t live without Sam but he never even manages to imagine that Sam might feel the same. His self worth issues are legion.

The episode also reveals a bit more about how crossroad demons and their deals work. It’s a much more organized system than Sam expected.

Red Sky at Morning is another Bela episode. It involves more discussion of family and an entertaining bit where Bela and Dean go undercover at a very high class party. My favorite part of the entire episode though may be the bit where the spell Sam chants at the end calls out to a variety of beings including Castiel. I’m pretty sure it didn’t mean anything to the writers, but it reminds me that it’s just ten more episodes until we get us some Castiel. Not that I’m counting down…

Fresh Blood is the culmination of the Gordon storyline. In his single minded pursuit of Sam he ended up crossing the wrong vampire and being turned. That means there’s a psycho vampire obsessed with killing Sam. Instead Sam ends up getting him with a length of wire. The strength Sam would have needed to behead someone with wire…yeah.

This episode also brings out unexpected parallels between the vampire Dixon and Dean. They’re both reckless in their hopelessness. Looking down the barrel of Hell, Dean has begun to live life as if he has a death wish. The scene where Sam confronts him about it is super emotional. He explains that he knows Dean and he knows how scared Dean is because he’s been looking up to his big brother since he was four years old. And the episode ends with Dean teaching Sam how to repair the Impala. Queue my heart breaking.

Random thoughts:

-It’s interesting to see a spirit growing vengeful even though the body hasn’t died yet. Callie was in a coma for so long the process seems to have started even without her death.

-Dean’s “don’t objectify me” to Bela while he’s feeling all awkward in his formal wear cracked me up.

Date watched: Sunday, March 13
Episode: 3.01 The Magnificent Seven , 3.02 The Kids Are Alright

The Magnificent Seven sets the tone for season three. It’s a demon centric episode that introduces us to the new normal of demonic possession and scheming. In this case its the demonic embodiments of the seven deadly sins.

The episode also sets the tone for Dean’s deal. He only has one year left to live and he is living it up with food and women to levels we haven’t seen before. Meanwhile Sam is tiptoeing around him and encouraging him because Dean is essentially dying. Of course by the end of the episode Sam has had enough of enabling Dean.

The Kids Are Alright is a freaky episode from the table saw scene at the beginning right through the plot about creepy parasitic changling children. The most important thing this episode gives us is our first look at Lisa and Ben who are an important part of Dean’s story. We also see more of Ruby who was briefly introduced in the last episode.

Random thoughts:

-Asking a hunter how they got into the biz is always going to be an awkward moment because it’s never a happy story.
-Bobby in a suit is always weird to me.
-I find it interesting that the hunter Tamara made it to the end of The Magnificent Seven and drove off with the (unrealized) potential to recur while her husband died. I’m glad they chose to let her be the one that lived.
-No matter how many times Lisa says that Ben isn’t Dean’s son, part of me doesn’t believe her. She must have a very particular type.

So I've been neglecting the full series rewatch I started last year, but there's nothing like a con to get me motivated to dive right back in. Today mom and I watched 7 episodes and she cracked me up by thinking it was only half that many. It really did fly by though. That's how much we had been missing massive quantities of Supernatural in our lives. :D

Date watched: Sunday, March 6
Episode: 2.14 Born Under a Bad Sign, 2.15 Tall Tales, 2.16 Roadkill, 2.17 Heart, 2.18 Hollywood Babylon, 2.19 Folsom Prison Blues, 2.20 What Is and What Should Never Be

Born Under a Bad Sign continues exploring the fear that Sam has about his destiny. When he blacks out and does things that he doesn’t remember he’s convinced he’s going bad. As they unravel the truth Dean puts a tough face on and refuses to believe that Sam is responsible for the things they find. He even tries to rationalize that if Sam did do it there was a good reason for it.

When he’s finally confronted with Sam demanding to be killed for what he’s done, Dean says he can’t and would rather die. I feel that’s basically the core of the entire show. For good and for ill.

Of course that’s also when Sam attacks him and goes to torment Jo. Eventually we learn that Sam is possessed by Meg. New demon mythology like binding links are introduced but eventually Dean and Bobby save the day. The biggest take away is that no matter what Dean will save Sam, even and sometimes especially if Sam doesn’t want saving.

Tall Tales introduces us to the glory that is the Trickster/Gabriel. Generally the episodes that feature him are delightful. Unreliable narration is the name of the game in this episode and it’s hilarious to see how Dean and Sam view each other. Especially the part with Dean and the purple nerples and the food. Poor Bobby having to deal with those two.

Road Kill is a really interesting episode because of the Sixth Sense style twist. It’s great to see the compassion that the boys have for the oblivious ghost. Sam in particular shows a depth of care for her and her predicament. Dean is of course more standoffish and tough love about the situation. The fact that Molly didn’t have to be salted and burned but could move on by coming to terms with her predicament and what was holding her to this plane is an interesting angle to the show’s ghost mythology.

Heart is a bad episode for Sam and his “peen of death.” Once again a woman who sleeps with him meets a horrible death. Sam over-identifies with Madison’s struggle because of his own uncertain darkness. Eventually he does what Madison asks and kills her, hardening himself emotionally in the process. Dean tried to spare him from that, but Sam did what he felt he had to.

The episode also brings in a lot of werewolf lore which as the episode shows is uncertain at best. In general the werewolf lore on this series is constantly evolving because hunters have a lot of misinformation.

Hollywood Babylon is a very entertaining episode because they make fun of their own industry. It’s also super fun to watch Dean throw himself entirely into being a PA and falling in love with craft services. One of my favorite things is seeing Dean happy and involved in life and this episode gives us that in spades.

Folsom Prison Blues is an episode that shows how far Sam and Dean will go for a hunt and to help someone they feel they owe. In this case they infiltrate a prison and investigate as prisoners. It’s also another episode where Dean fits in perfectly to his surroundings but unlike in Hollywood Babylon its more concerning than endearing. Dean is way too comfortable in prison.

The episode also brings back Henriksen and the FBI who are still out to get the Winchesters. The show tries to remind us of that building threat every so often.

What Is and What Should Never Be is a heartbreaking episode. It introduces Djinn to the setting and their abilities to give you a perfect dream of what you wish your life was even as they feed off you. The alternate realities they create in your mind are so seductive you don’t necessarily want to fight against them. In this episode a Djinn gives Dean a normal life with his mom still alive and a steady girlfriend. He doesn’t trust it but still enjoys things like mowing the lawn for his mother.

Ultimately though its a reality where he isn’t close with Sam and where all the people they saved didn’t actually get saved. Without Dean and Sam hunting the world is very different. Watching Dean struggle with the pain of doing the right thing even though it means sacrificing everything he wants is heartbreaking. His willingness to do so is also what makes him a hero and if there is one thing Dean is good at its sacrificing his happiness and embracing pain. It’s a quality that serves him well in this episode. It also shows us how much Dean would rather live with real pain than fake joy which comes up more and more during future seasons.

Random thoughts:

-I love Jo telling Dean not to be a baby as she tends his wound.
-I love the use of Rooster by Alice in Chains at the end of 2.19, but you’d think they would have used some Johnny Cash music…
-In the Djinn dream Mary confirms her identity to Dean with her nightly comfort of “angels are watching over you” which is so much more important and disturbing now that I’ve seen the whole series.
-I’ll never get over how pretty Dean’s single man tears are.

Date watched: Tuesday, August 4
Episode: 2.09 Croatoan

Croatoan is an extremely important episode when it comes to the overarching mythology of the show. The demon virus introduced here comes back to play a vital role in season 5. We also continue the development of Sam’s special powers (he’s immune to the virus) and Dean’s instability.

Perhaps most importantly we get a taste of how absolutely devoted to Sam Dean is when he’s determined to die with Sam rather than accept any alternatives without Sam in them.

This is an episode where our heroes don’t lose, but they don’t win either. They make it out, but the demons have still accomplished their goals. I like ambiguous resolutions like that when used well like it was here—especially since they do revisit it later.

Random thoughts:

-It’s kind of annoying how long they’ve drawn out the reveal about John’s final words to Dean. On top of that the cliff hanger where Dean was about to come clean was a low blow.

-LMAO—Dean’s history knowledge is based off School House Rocks. I have a mental image of cute little Dean watching it in the hotel room and singing along when no one looks.

-Ahh…this is the episode where Dean says he’s never been to the Grand Canyon…something I’m pretty sure the writers forget later.

Date watched: Wednesday, July 29
Episode: 2.05 Simon Said & 2.06 No Exit

Simon Said returns us to the overarching plot about Sam’s visions and the special children. The episode is about a pair of twins who’ve been tinkered with by Azazel in the same way Sam was. Over the course of the episode they each choose different paths based on their upbringing and base personalities—one evil and one not. The story plays into the larger arc where Sam is afraid that the nature of his birth or the circumstances in his nursery dooms him to be evil.

Usually Sam’s ability to approach situations with more nuance than Dean is an advantage however in this instance Sam’s focus on the shades of grey is a detriment. Dean is able to see Andy’s killing of his brother as the heroic action of a man saving other’s lives while all Sam sees is the killing. He also improperly conflates immediate defense of others with emotional trauma in the past when he discusses people being pushed to kill.

What really fascinates me about the special children storyline is that at it’s core it’s a story about destiny vs free will—a theme which I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say is the heart of the entire show. It’s clear even at this point that while Sam struggles with the idea of destiny, Dean is completely in the free will camp. He is adamant in his belief that a person always has a choice which is a nice prequel to his impassioned fight for free will during the apocalypse.

No Exit focuses in on Jo, letting us learn more about her. She’s given a lot to work with which is great and I enjoyed seeing her step out as a hunter. The attempt to give her romantic tension with Dean still falls flat for me though, if anything this episode solidifies the little sister vibe she has going on.

I also find it interesting that this ep is one of the few, if not only episode to be so overtly based on a real historical person. H. H. Holmes’ ghost is pretty horrifying which makes sense given the real history of the man.


Random Thoughts on Simon Said:

-Dean’s taste in this episode is super questionable. His admiration for Andy’s van with the barbarian lady and the polar bear painted on the side—not to mention the fuck pad in the back—is pretty bad. Hilarious but bad…

-It’s hard to believe that even mind control can get Baby away from Dean.