DC Fic - Not Again!

[shinysylver]

Title: Not Again!
Author: shinysylver
Characters/Pairing: preslash Batman/Flash (Bruce/Wally)
Word Count: 982
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the DCU.
Warning: none
Universe: JLA/JLU cartoon
Summary: Wally can't seem to keep his brain in the right body.
Author's Note: Written for jacklemmon as part of fandom_stocking. Set sometime after "The Great Brain Robbery."



Wally dodged around the soldiers, yanking their guns out of their hands as he passed. He did it automatically, never taking his eyes off of the target—Grod’s helmet. It was his new and improved mind control helmet, created to enslave every creature on Earth. Grod was currently using it to telepathically control the Kasnian army, but he hadn’t had a chance to extend that control. Wally had to get to the helmet before he could.

Wally dodged around a man with a grenade launcher, taking just enough time to disarm the weapon at super speed before lunging forward to grab at the helmet. He was surprised to see that Batman had appeared seemingly out of nowhere and was also reaching for the helmet.

“Fools!” Grod yelled. He pressed a button that made the helmet glow red. “You’re too late!”

Suddenly, Flash’s stomach lurched and he wondered where he was. Shouldn’t he be somewhere else right now? Anywhere else? He tried to turn around and leave, but his momentum was too great and instead he crashed into the giant gorilla standing in front of him, which was weird. Why was there a gorilla?

Before he had time to worry about the gorilla, Wally’s hand landed on the metal helmet the gorilla was wearing. At the exact same time, a man dressed as a giant bat--which was also pretty weird--grabbed the helmet. As soon as their fingers touched the helmet, sparks exploded behind Wally’s eyes and everything went black.

“Mmmph,” Wally mumbled, swatting at the hand shaking his shoulder. “Five more minutes.”

“Batman?” Superman asked.

Wally reached up to rub at his face and frowned. His cowl felt harder than usual, almost like it was made out of a tougher material. He traced the edges with his fingers and then worked his way up until he found the pointed ears. Wally sat up with a start, his eyes wide open.

“Not again!” Wally yelled his voice much deeper and rougher than he was used to.

“I’m afraid so,” Grod said with a sigh. He was helmetless and handcuffed, being watched closely by GL. “Once again I had the displeasure of your mind traveling through mine.”

“What?” Superman asked. “Batman what’s going on?”

“Apparently, Flash and I have switched bodies,” Batman growled, standing up.

Wally stared at himself—his body—Batman. Damn, that was weird. “Do I really sound like that? Because I don’t think I sound that…mean…do I?”

Superman looked back and forth between the two of them for a moment before fixing his gaze on Wally. “No, that’s a Batman thing.”

Wally walked over to Batman’s side, each step seeming excruciatingly slow, and slung his arm around Batman’s shoulders. He wouldn’t normally feel comfortable touching the other man, but Batman was wearing Wally’s body after all. “So, Bats, I guess you and I are stuck like this until Fate get’s back from his mission, huh?”

Batman grunted and shrugged Wally’s arm off. “Don’t do that.”

“Oh come on, Bats. It’s not that bad,” Wally said, grinning at Batman. “The last time this happened I was stuck in Lex Luthor’s body. You and me switching is actually pretty cool.”

“Cool?” Batman repeated, a pained expression showing on the part of his face not hidden by the cowl. He looked at Superman who was shaking with suppressed laughter. “This isn’t funny.”

“Of course not,” Superman agreed before finally giving into his laughter.

While Batman was distracted, Wally reached down and caressed the utility belt at his waist. He’d always wanted to know what Batman kept in the thing, but he didn’t think he should start looking now. Maybe, he could make an excuse to go to the bathroom—

“Don’t even think about it,” Batman said, grabbing Wally’s hand.

“What?” Wally asked innocently.

“There are going to be rules,” Batman said. “You will not snoop in the belt, the costume, the cowl, the car, the cave, the plane, the—“

“I get the idea,” Wally interrupted, rolling his eyes. “Somehow I doubt you’ll restrain yourself the same way.”

Batman narrowed his eyes but didn’t comment. “Second, you will not say things like ‘cool’ when you are in that body. Third, no touching.”

“Okay, enough,” Wally said, a trace of hurt creeping into his voice. “You don’t get to make all the rules here. In fact I don’t know why we need these rules. I trust you not to abuse my body and my life. I know you don’t trust anybody, but surely you know I wouldn’t…”

Batman’s eyes softened fractionally. “Fine, I am reasonably certain you would not knowingly do anything to compromise me.”

“Aw, Bats, I didn’t know you cared!” Wally exclaimed.

Batman frowned, but didn’t refute Wally’s claim. “We are not suited to fight like this. We should return to the Watchtower and I think it would be best if we stay together until Fate returns.”

Wally grinned. “Awesome! I just got this new DVD that I was going to watch with GL, but it looks like he’s going to be busy here for a few hours and I think you’d like it, Bats.”

Batman sighed. “I suppose a movie would be the least painless way to pass the time.”

“That’s the spirit!” Wally exclaimed, patting Batman on the back. “Come on, if I know myself, you’re getting pretty hungry right about now and the cafeteria is serving hamburgers today.”

Batman’s stomach growled loudly at the mention of hamburgers which prompted Superman to start laughing all over again.

“Shut up,” Batman hissed at Superman.

“Don’t worry about him,” Wally said, pushing Batman in the direction of the shuttle. “He’s just jealous that we get to spend the whole afternoon watching movies and eating popcorn.”

“Movies?” Batman asked. “I agreed to one movie.”

“Did I say that?” Wally asked. “I meant I got a box set. Three movies! We are going to have so much fun!”

Batman sighed.


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