shinysylver | H50 Fic

Title: Hold Me Up
Author:

shinysylver
Characters/Pairing: Steve/Danny
Word Count: 1231
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Hawaii Five-0.
Warning: none
Summary: Danny's still having nightmares.
Author's Note: This is for

ratherastory who begged for a sequel to Goodnight Danny.

Danny jerked awake, his heart racing. His head was spinning with images of prison bars and the loud ring of gunshots still echoing in the darkness. Without conscious thought he reached blindly for the cell phone on his nightstand. He needed to call, just to make sure.

He stilled in surprise when instead of hitting hard wood his hand landed on a warm body. He sat up completely disoriented. His nightstand was supposed to be there, what was going on?

Danny felt the bed shift next to him and suddenly there was light. He squinted against it and saw Steve sitting up against the headboard looking at him with concern. He let out a deep breath that he hadn't realized he was holding and sunk his head into his hands.

He dug his fingers into his scalp. Steve was fine, everything was fine. Things had been more than fine since that day nearly a month ago when he'd woken up on the couch in Jersey to find Rachel sitting in front of him with a concerned look on her face, a one way plane ticket to Hawaii in her hand, and promises to follow with Grace as soon as she could.

"You okay?" Steve asked softly.

"Yeah," Danny answered, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. He was a grown man for heaven's sake. He shouldn't be this needy.

"Want to talk about it?"

Danny shrugged. "I just forgot where I was for a moment. Not a big deal."

When Steve didn't press him further, he looked up and saw the same concerned look on Steve's face that had become a constant presence on Rachel's before he left. It was almost eerie how similar they looked. "Do you realize you look just like Rachel right now? I find that disturbing on a lot of levels."

Steve raised an eyebrow but didn't take the bait.

Danny sighed. He hadn't talked to Rachel, not wanting to weigh her down with his problems--his job--but Steve was different. He didn't want to make the same mistakes by keeping things from Steve but he also hated to show his weaknesses. After all, Steve had been through a lot more than he had and he wasn't having any fucking nightmares.

"It's really nothing," Danny said avoiding Steve's eyes.

"You know, sometimes I still have nightmares about Afghanistan," Steve said quietly. "I'll wake up completely disoriented, thinking I'm back there watching my men get shot." Steve took a deep breath and caught Danny's eyes. "And sometimes its worse, sometimes it's your face or Grace's that I see instead of theirs."

Danny studied Steve for a moment. He looked so sincere and vulnerable in a way Danny wasn't used too, and that, even more than Steve's admission, loosened something in him. "I still dream about you in prison. I dream that it's my fault and I can't do anything to stop it. And then tonight...tonight I dreamt that Wo Fat hadn't been content to just frame you..." He trailed off, not able to say any more, not even wanting to think it.

Steve leaned forward and clasped his hand over Danny's knee, squeezing gently. "I'm right here."

"I know its stupid--"

"No," Steve interrupted. "It's not stupid."

"Isn't it?" Danny asked. "You're obviously fine so why the hell do I keep dreaming about this?" He paused and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Why do I still feel guilty?"

"Guilty?" Steve asked, surprised. He scooted closer to Danny, sliding an arm around his waist.

Danny relaxed back against Steve's chest taking comfort from his warmth. "I dunno. Everything was just so fucked up. Things with Rachel and the baby were going so fast. And then when you needed me I wasn't there. If I'd been there I could have stopped you from being such an idiot."

"You had things you had to do," Steve said. "What happened is all on me."

"I knew you were going to do something stupid but I left anyway," Danny sighed. He stared at the wall in front of him, finding it easier to talk when he couldn't actually see Steve.

"You didn't have a choice. Rachel needed you." Steve said. "Family first."

Danny had to concede the point. He wouldn't change anything even if he could. Getting a desperate call from the normally very composed Rachel had terrified him just as much as seeing Steve hauled away in a squad car. "I still feel guilty."

"You were there when it mattered most," Steve said hugging him closer. "The guilt and the nightmares will pass eventually. Or they will as long as you don't keep them to yourself."

Danny craned his head back to look at Steve. "Seriously, have you been talking to Rachel? I swear you are the same person and it's starting to give me the creeps."

"She's a wise woman, and yes, we may have had dinner last weekend when you took Grace to the movies," Steve laughed. "But Danny, this is me talking. It's impossible to survive the kind of life I've led without learning how to deal with the nightmares. And sometimes that means talking about them...even if it's hard."

"You had dinner with Rachel? And didn't tell me?" Danny asked. He was a little shocked at the idea of Steve and Rachel going out to dinner. He was also more than a little concerned about the types of things that they might have discussed. He pulled away from Steve so that he could look at him. "You don't even realize that's weird do you?"

Steve shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips. "Someone had to make sure Danny Jr. was getting fed right."

All of Danny's concern melted away at the mention of Rachel's pregnancy and he grinned. "It could still be a Danielle."

Steve shook his head. "It's a boy. I know these things."

"Oh you do, do you?" Danny asked. He shifted around to lay back down and pulled Steve down next to him. "You think you know everything don't you?"

Steve settled down facing Danny and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Pretty much."

Danny rolled his eyes but leaned forward to kiss him anyway. "You are impossible do you know that?"

"That's what you tell me," Steve said. He kissed Danny again. "You think you can go back to sleep?"

"Yeah," Danny replied. "Yeah, I thinks so."

He watched as Steve rolled over to turn out the light before reaching out to grab Steve's hand. "Steve?"

"Yeah?"

Danny squeezed Steve's hand. "Just so we're clear here. You're family too."

"Thank you," Steve whispered, his voice rough with suppressed emotion.

He lifted Danny's hand, set it on his chest--right over his heart--and covered it with his own. Steve's heart was beating fast, faster than it should be which made Danny smile. It was good to know that there were still some things that made Steve nervous. He kissed Steve's shoulder and closed his eyes, reassured by the strong beat under his palm as he drifted off to sleep.

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H50 Fic - Hold Me Up

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