shinysylver: (h50 - brain miserable place)
[personal profile] shinysylver
Title: Han's Not Solo
Author: [livejournal.com profile] shinysylver
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don’t own Hawaii Five-0 or Star Wars. And the world rejoiced.
Summary: Danny loses a bet.
Warning: crossdressing, crack
Word Count: 1016
Author’s Note: This is all [livejournal.com profile] team_steve's fault. We were doing a live episode discussion tonight and this is what came of it. You all better appreciate it.



“No way,” Danny said shaking his head in horror. “There is no way in hell I am ever putting that on.”

“A bet’s a bet.” Steve smirked. “Don’t tell me you’re going to chicken out.”

“Chicken out?!” Danny exclaimed. “Let’s get one thing straight. Williams’ never go back on their word. Our word is golden; you can take it to the bank.”

“Okay then.” Steve said holding out the hanger. “Put it on.”

“Fucking Rutgers,” Danny muttered as he grabbed the hanger and stalked toward the bathroom. “Who’d have thought they’d lose to Hawaii?”

“I did.” Steve pointed out mildly, as he pulled a chair around so that it faced the bathroom door and made himself comfortable.

“Of course you did.” You never lose at anything.” Danny said walking into the bathroom and slamming the door behind him.

“Then why did you make the bet?” Steve called through the door.

“It was a matter of principle!” Danny said loosening his tie. “No team from New Jersey should lose to a school who’s mascot is a Rainbow!”

“They’re actually the Warriors.” Steve corrected as he dug out his cell phone and turned on the camera mode.

“Whatever!” Danny yelled as he stripped off his clothes. “Why the hell did you pick this anyway?”

“I said you were going to help me fulfill a fantasy.” Steve said. “And that was every teenage boy’s fantasy.”

“Shouldn’t you have gotten this out of your system with Catherine?” Danny asked as he pulled on the offending garment. He winced as the metal scraped and pinched in some very sensitive places.

“She never lost a bet.” Steve laughed.

“Figures,” Danny muttered, looking at himself in the full length mirror. It was grotesque really. Men just shouldn’t wear bikinis, especially chain mail ones. He grabbed the cups and tried to reposition them so that they wouldn’t pinch his nipples. All things considered, he was surprised it fit, even across his broad shoulders. In fact, it fit too well. “Steven? Did you have this made special?”

“Maybe,” Steve responded almost too quiet for Danny to hear through the door.

“You’re sick. You know that?” Danny asked before taking a deep breath and throwing open the door. To his dismay he was immediately met with the flashes from Steve’s camera phone. He tried his best to cover his eyes but he knew it was useless. “Is that necessary?!”

“Oh yes.” Steve said taking a few more pictures before shoving the phone into his pocket. “How else will I prove it to Chin and Kono.”

Danny groaned at the thought of the teasing he was going to be getting around the office for the rest of his life. He was never going to bet against Steve ever again. “Okay Han, you’ve had your fun but this pinches--”

“Where exactly does it pinch?” Steve interrupted in a husky voice.

Danny looked up in surprise. This was actually turning Steve on. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d said it was a fantasy. Danny wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about that but the hungry look in Steve’s eyes sent a thrill straight to his cock. He supposed he could indulge Steve just this once.

“Right here,” Danny whispered caressing the bra cups before moving his hands lower. “And here.”

Not breaking eye contact with Steve, he walked forward slowly, gently running his hands over the bra. He stopped in front of Steve, knelt down between his legs and looked pointedly at his crotch. “So Han, is that your light saber or are you happy to see me?”

“I’m always happy to see you.” Steve said gruffly as Danny began running his hands up and down Steve’s thighs occasionally ghosting them over his straining cock. Steve arched his back each time Danny’s hands found his erection.

“Good to hear it.” He said moving to unzip Steve’s pants, the chain mail rattling as he leaned forward. Danny reached into Steve’s pants, pulled out Steve’s cock and leaned forward to lick a drop of precum off of the tip. At the touch of Danny’s tongue Steve let out a moan and twined his fingers into Danny’s hair. Steve started to guide Danny’s head forward but Danny pulled back. “Not so fast. I think there are some pictures that need deleting first.”

“What?” Steve asked in confusion.

“The pictures,” Danny said, “either you delete them or you get up close and personal with your hand.”

“But the bet--” Steve started.

“Would you rather show those pictures to Chin and Kono?” Danny asked reaching out to slowly pump Steve’s erection. “Or finish this.”

Steve wordlessly reached into his pocket and grabbed the phone, shoving it into Danny’s free hand. Danny quickly scanned the photos, deleting all of them, but not before he texted the best one to himself. He figured it might come in handy in the future. Mission accomplished, he leaned forward and took Steve’s cock into his mouth.

“Mmm.” Steve moaned as Danny slowly moved his head up and down, occasionally pausing to swirl his tongue around the tip.

Danny held Steve’s hips down firmly, determined to draw this out as long as he could. He looked up and met Steve’s eyes as he began to hum the way he knew Steve liked. After several minutes, he moved his hands off of Steve’s hips and loosened his mouth as Steve began to thrust forward.

“Danny!” Steve yelled as he came in several spurts.

Danny did his best to swallow but a bit of come leaked out of the corners of his mouth. He leaned back and wiped at his mouth. Steve leaned forward and grabbed Danny’s arms, gently guiding him forward into a brief kiss.

“Thank you.” Steve said simply.

Danny nodded, shifting uncomfortably in the metal bikini. “Now if you don’t mind I’m going to change out of this before you return the favor.”

Steve laughed, “whatever you want, Leia.”

“Don’t call me Leia.” Danny said, moving back toward the bathroom.

“You called me Han.” Steve pointed out.

“That’s different.” Danny said. “You liked it.

Steve just grinned.

Date: 2011-03-01 06:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grimcognito.livejournal.com
*is laughing too hard to come up with a proper response*
I have to say that I rubbed my chest in sympathy at the mention of the pinching. Ouch.

Date: 2011-03-01 06:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
I'm glad you found it entertaining!

I seriously think this fandom is going to be the death of me though!

Date: 2011-03-01 08:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grimcognito.livejournal.com
I know! I should be in bed right now, not writing for another prompt.

Date: 2011-03-01 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sgflutegirl.livejournal.com
OMG!! *dies laughing*

Date: 2011-03-01 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
I'm glad you found it entertaining. Anything for Team Steve.

*goes to wash brain out now*

Date: 2011-03-01 06:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grnidshrk.livejournal.com
giggles hysterically.

the sad thing is, I can picture that in my head, though that might be because I've had a crush on both Han and Leia since I was you and now I'm drooling over Steve and Danny, I don't know.

Date: 2011-03-01 06:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
Unfortunately I could picture it too...WTF brain? ;)

I'm glad you found it entertaining!

Date: 2011-03-01 06:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nini-darko.livejournal.com
If you could see my fucking smile right now. Not only is this perfect, it's fucking awesome. We at team Steve are in your debt bb ♥

Date: 2011-03-01 06:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
I'm glad you found it entertaining! Anything for Team Han Steve.

You know I kept trying to figure out how to work in the thigh holsters for you and just couldn't make it work. Maybe next week. ;)

Date: 2011-03-01 07:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] michele659.livejournal.com
LOL-I told you if you wrote that my head might explode from laughter!
I'm wondering if I should be concerned that I found the story hot as well as funny!

Date: 2011-03-01 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it! But I would definitely be concerned. ;)

BTW...that icon is rather brilliant in this context. :D

Date: 2011-03-01 08:13 am (UTC)
ext_14590: (Danny I Dare You)
From: [identity profile] meredyth-13.livejournal.com
I've worn that bikini, and sadly, don't recall getting to give Steve McGarrett a blow job. Lucky Danny - even with the pinching!

This was delightful - gave me a real chuckle (and mental picture that will stay with me for some time).

:D

Date: 2011-03-01 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it!

I've worn that bikini

I've never actually worn it but I've been to enough cons to see it on EVERYONE.

sadly, don't recall getting to give Steve McGarrett a blow job.

LOL...if only it were that simple. There would be a run on Leia costumes.

mental picture that will stay with me for some time

Sorry about that...;)

Date: 2011-03-01 09:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bluespirit-star.livejournal.com
Hee! Too cute! :)

Date: 2011-03-01 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
Lol...I'm glad you liked it. :)

Date: 2011-03-01 09:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bi-nocturnal-g.livejournal.com
ROFL Marvelous. Now someone just have to make fanart to make this one complete.

Date: 2011-03-01 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it!

Now someone just have to make fanart to make this one complete.

Wouldn't that be simultaneously hilarious and terrifying? I'd love to see it though!

Date: 2011-03-01 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bi-nocturnal-g.livejournal.com
Okay I have no fancy Photoshop so this will suck, because I'm sure that the ones that have one can do so much better. But I give you my version of Princess Danno. At least is better than the other guy above.

I'm blaming his "pale body" on the fact we don't see him shirtless enough on the show.

Image (http://s1234.photobucket.com/albums/ff401/bi_nocturnal_g/?action=view&current=PrincessCaan2.jpg)

Date: 2011-03-01 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
LOL! Oh my...he sure has waxed since last I saw him.

It's kinda wrong how happy that makes me. That is actually the first fanart ever made for any of my fic.

Thank you!!

Date: 2011-03-01 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bi-nocturnal-g.livejournal.com
It's sucky but I'm glad you like it. This is the first fanart I posted on anything.

Now I know understand how [livejournal.com profile] jiiaffa  felt when she posted her first fanart for my H5-0 fic: Back in the Cage (http://bi-nocturnal-g.livejournal.com/938.html)

Date: 2011-03-01 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] padfootthegrim.livejournal.com
OMG!
My icon does not even begin to cover my laughter and glee!
This is FANTASTIC! XD

Date: 2011-03-01 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bi-nocturnal-g.livejournal.com
(◕‿-)He looks pretty no?

No wonder Steve couldn't resist. Danny beats Cath hands down.

Date: 2011-03-01 10:52 am (UTC)
ext_7730: (belladonna - oops!)
From: [identity profile] littlesammy.livejournal.com
Part of me can see this working perfectly. The other part can't get over that particular American Idol casting that scarred my mind... ^^

Image

Date: 2011-03-01 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
Wow...that's disturbing and suddenly validates my decision not to watch American ideal. I think Danny would pull it off better. *nods*

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Date: 2011-03-01 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] padfootthegrim.livejournal.com
\o/ you win the internets!

Keep an eye out- there may or may not be a follow up on this from me later today. JFC, our brains. :D

Date: 2011-03-01 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it!

Keep an eye out- there may or may not be a follow up on this from me later today.

Oh pretty please with sugar on top.

Date: 2011-03-01 02:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whogeek.livejournal.com
Ow, ow, ow, and OW!! All I can say is dude is hairy. And chain mail? Will grab hair and pull it. **winces in sympathy**

Date: 2011-03-01 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
Yeah the things he'll do for Steve...;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Date: 2011-03-01 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] casness.livejournal.com
OMG, you managed to get it written! ~hugs~ This is brilliant and hilarious. Good thinking on Danny's part to delete those pictures. Maybe next bet, Steve can be dressed as Han. Thank you. Team Steve is great for bunnies.

Date: 2011-03-01 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
*grin* I'm glad you liked it.

Good thinking on Danny's part to delete those pictures.

I think that was most of Danny's reason to go along at all! LOL!

Good thinking on Danny's part to delete those pictures.

I think Steve would like that a little too much. ;)

Team Steve is great for bunnies.

Team Han Steve is awesome! And a horribly corrupting force on my mind! (Not that it needed much help...)

Date: 2011-03-02 01:06 am (UTC)
ext_376090: An echidna wearing a ninja headband (Default)
From: [identity profile] shadynaiad.livejournal.com
I think this new fandom is a bad influence on you. I worry about your new crack habit.

Photobucket

Date: 2011-03-02 01:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
Oh my...Poor Danny.

BTW you know you love my crack habit!

Date: 2011-03-02 03:11 am (UTC)
ext_376090: An echidna wearing a ninja headband (Default)
From: [identity profile] shadynaiad.livejournal.com
Oh my...Poor Danny.
He'll be fine. He's got Steve.

Photobucket
(I want you to know I resisted putting Steve in front of a cheesy balloon arch backdrop.)

Date: 2011-03-02 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purple-spock.livejournal.com
This is just too funny. “So Han, is that your light saber or are you happy to see me?” HA. Fantastic job. : D

Date: 2011-03-02 05:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
Thanks I'm glad you liked it!

Although I think it proves my brain has finally cracked... ;)

Date: 2011-03-02 05:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purple-spock.livejournal.com
Yay cracked! I approve of cracked if this is what it leads to. : D

Date: 2011-03-02 08:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ebilchickens.livejournal.com
This is awesome. *is still snickering*

Date: 2011-03-02 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it!

BTW that icon is so very very perfect for this story and you know their relationship in general. :D

Date: 2011-03-03 04:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sanguine2.livejournal.com
oh man!
poor!Danny-
lucky us!!!
awesome !

Date: 2011-03-03 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
I don't know if "lucky us" is quite how I'd put it but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

My brain I tell you. *shakes head* At least I'm having fun.

Thanks for the review!

Date: 2011-07-20 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teddibear.livejournal.com
*gigglesnort* but of course it's every man's fantasy. And I could just see Danny in that chain mail bikini. *gigglesnort* Too funny. I love it even more that it was Rutgers that lost (my fiance is from NJ and he is always saying how superior Jersey is in every way. I get a little kick when they're just well, NOT.) *snerk*

Date: 2011-07-20 02:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
Obviously Steve is right there with you on the Rutgers thing. :D

Thanks for reading!

Date: 2014-04-16 01:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luvmeanspain.livejournal.com
First off hahahaaaaaaa!!! Love this, I would love to see Danny dressed like this on the show.

And second would you post this in the site A03?

Date: 2014-04-16 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysylver.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

All of my fic is actually on ao3 already. You can find this one here:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/166672

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